Tuzk e Jahangiri

By: Hakim Hazik

Where you were on nine leven? I was eating Benazir Qulfa near Pani Wala Talab. I would normally go to Mochi gate for Seekh Kabab, but it was tweezday and I don’t eat meat on tweezdays. I saw it myself with my own eyes on tally viyun. The fust plane then the sacond plane. Peepals running like chickens in New Yarak. Tawars falling. I thought inside inside my heart, Allah Pak take mercy, they will come after Brather Usama Bin. More...

By: Hakim Hazik

It is time that Admiral Mullen realized that God is on our side. To go against the will of God will cause global warming, a nuclear holocaust and quite possibly a double dip recession. The will of God is not to go into North Waziristan. North Waziristan is the promised land where the Son of Man will land to slay the beast and to start the Millennium. We must wait for the opportune time and not be provoked into precipitate action just because there is an election every four years. More...

By: Hakim Hazik

The Eid ul Fitr was celebrated with the usual religious fervour across the length and breadth of the country. Actually, at least four moons were sighted and at least three Eids were celebrated, the majority of them in Khyber Pukhtunkhwa. Some members of the Moon Sighting Committee have revealed to this correspondent in confidence, that actually nine moons were sighted, but it was thought in the public interest not to disclose this information at the present critical juncture in Ummah’s history. More...

By: Hakim Hazik

As we set off on this epochal journey, as we made a tryst with destiny, we made a promise   to Ummah, that we will never touch aloo gosht. As we know and the whole Ummah knows, that aloo gosht is against the Two Nation Theory. We would never have thought that this dark moment will come to pass when Nawaz Sharif will descend to these depths of crassness and depravity, that he will not only eulogize aloo gosht but ghia gosht as well! More...

By: Hakim Hazik

By the girace af Gad, the midil cilass revolution has arrived in Englistan. Naoo, I do nat need the tally phoon to ispeak to my peepil. They are right there at my door istep, burning wheely bins and ransacking Ladbrokes. The message af United is ispreading like wild fire. It has ispread to Bulbul Hampton and Livel Pool, in addition to Kati Pahari and Kasba Caloony. Camden Town and Orangi Town have become one and the same town. More...

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

We believe that begging is against the national character and undermines our self respect as a nation. We have therefore broken the begging bowl. We think however, that mugging is in keeping with the national character and aspirations and promotes our geo-strategic depth.  More...

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

We trust in God and his midil cilass apostles. We believe in Hazrat Uzi. We think he biraught His bilessings and piratection to the United nation. His out istanding cantribution to humanity and the Gireat Port City was the Uzi sub machine gun and the machine pistol. This has allowed the rule af la to established in our community which is able to live in peace and fire upon the brigands and sub human ambulance dirivers firam the comfort af their own homes or as they dirive by on their jaunty motor bikes.  More...

Tuzk e Jahangiri

By: Hakim Hazik

Tauba Tauba, Allah Maafi, What is happening in Salamabad? The Mreecans have gan mad. They are holding this convention where all the peepals of third world, acdc,  gays and lesbalians are coming. Only narmal peepals af Pakustan Peepal Paty are not coming. Every bady is so shamed that no bady is taaking. Every bady is keeping his mum. More...

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

We believe in the fundamental right of all human beings to play golf on a sunday. We support the inalienable right of self determination of all people, including the Kashmiris, the Baloch, the Afghans and the Central Asians, under the visionary guidance of the ISI’s human rights committee, headed by Brigadier Ijaz. More...

By: Hamid  Ateeq

لندن دا پل ٹٹ چلیا اي

میری پیاریئے گوریئے میمے

لکڑ، گارا لے کے آئیے

رل کے پل نوں فیر بنائیے

لکڑ گل کے ٹٹ جانی اے

قسمت تیری پھٹ جانی اے

گوریئے میمے۔۔۔۔

لکڑ ہاریئے گوریئے میمے

More...