Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

It has been said that a degree is degree, whether you have bought it from the back of a truck or from a bona fide, professional forger registered with the Higher Education Commission. If I were you, I would not buy university degrees any more. I would buy a university, which, now a days is as cheap and much better value for money.More...

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

Most respectfully I beg to submit my apology to the esteemed Supreme Court of Pakistan. I am sorry that I was not able to come up with the name of the first chapter in the Holy Book. I now know that it is the Objective’s Resolution. More...

Justice Iftikhar of the Lahore High Court has struck a blow for democracy. He has granted a bail before arrest to the selfless civil servant and policeman par excellence, Rana Maqbool Ahmed, formerly of Sind Police department and currently in charge of public prosecution in the Punjab.

This kind-hearted and mild mannered gentleman has always put duty before personal benefit and national service before self interest. However has never given any quarter to the enemies of the state and has always been unflinching and steadfast in upholding the rule of law. More...

Peepil of Kiranchi unite. You have nothing but your necks to lose. We have come far. The journey that we istarted in the pharmacy department, has culminated in the gornamint of United taking over the gireat Port City. More...

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

Welcome to the annual general meeting of the Shura. We especially welcome our Taliban desk brothers from the International Sensitive Agency, who are also the permanent members of the Supreme Council. We will have video messages from Mullah Brother and Mulla Qayyum Zakir who can’t be here tonight because of prior engagements in Attock Prison. More...

Tuzk e Jahangiri

By: Hakim Hazik

You think that peepal sitting in parliayment are all nin cum poops. All peepal sitting in the sapreem coat are fountain houses of wisdom and journal knawledge. MNAs have fake degrees. Has any bady looked at the degrees af the sapreem coat? Are they all janwin? If you like to be the la maker, you shud fat the lection. Then you can make the la and no worry bout the ejucation af la makers. But it is the peepal who decide whether to lect you ar nat. More...

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

The Home Minister has held a press conference. He says that role of RAW in Lahore attacks cannot be ruled out. There can hardly be any doubt the scheming Hindus are working day and night to destabilize the Two Nation theory. First of all they took Kashmir. Now they are shutting down our rivers. The worst blow is that they would not let our boys play in the IPL. This and the vicious attack by Indian composers on Atif Aslam is all you need to know to understand the seriousness of the challenges facing the nation. More...

God does not normally communicate with politicians these days. There are people who claim to be directly in communication with God. They are more likely to be found in long stay psychiatry facilities. If they are unlucky, and happen to be in Pakistan, they will be charged with blasphemy and dragged through courts. Not infrequently, they will be lynched by religious fanatics. More...

Popular Myths

By: Hakim Hazik

It is a popular myth that Pakistan is an ideological state. This is a translation of ‘Nazria e Pakistan’. This is usually taken to mean that Pakistan was created so that the Sharia law can be implemented and that would solve all our problems and return us to the pristine glories of early Islamic Empire. This is a false and a dangerous notion and has already caused untold damage. The ‘Ideology of Pakistan’ is a mortal threat to the existence of Pakistan. More...

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

The place of Muslim women is inside the house. It is the duty of men to supervise over them, to provide them with food and look after their well being and security. They are responsible for the provision of niqab, abaya, burqa, jilbab, chastity belts, handcuffs, shackles and other devices of women’s liberation. More...