Murder in Jati Umra

May 26, 2014 at 11:50 AMAdministrator

 

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

New evidence is emerging that the brutal murder of the peacock in Jati Umra is linked to the disappearance of the flight MH370 . A satellite over the Pak Nationalist Ocean, (formerly called the Indian Ocean) has picked up a signal from Gajju Matta, suggesting that the deceased peacock was romantically involved with Rana Sana Ullah. If confirmed, this will lead to the uncovering of the biggest aviation crime in history. More...

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IQBAL’S CONCEPT OF GOD

April 30, 2014 at 8:29 PMAdministrator

By: Dr. Uzma Saeed


In a letter to Sufi Ghulam Mustafa Tabassum Iqbal wrote, ‘I have spent most of my life in the study of Western Philosophy, and its perspectives have become second nature for me; intentionally or unintentionally I study the facts of Islam from the same viewpoint (Khutbat-e-Iqbal by Justice Javed Iqbal).

The entire focus of Iqbal’s work was on articulating the Western philosophical and scientific insights in terms of customary Islamic discourse in order to persuade his Muslim audience that the change, progress and innovation in religious thought were legitimate and consistent with Islamic principles. Iqbal’s thought was informed by Western philosophical perspectives, developments in natural and cognitive sciences in the West as well as Muslim and Eastern philosophical thought. However, Iqbal never followed the ideas of another thinker or school of thought passively in their entirety. His mind sought a synthesis and he sounded out what he thought was good and relevant from the untenable and outdated ideas of all thinkers whether Eastern, Western, Muslim or Indian. More...

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Navy Seals Killed Peacock

March 21, 2014 at 11:04 PMAdministrator

 

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

After burning the midnight oil and undertaking arduous journeys to the holy land our financial wizard has cracked it. He had the 1.5 billion under his Ahram when he went to the Haram Sharif form Riyadh. Therefore, the dollars are halal and blessed by the Imam of Kaaba and Allah SWT. We can use them to fill all the stadia in the Republic and smash the Guinness book record by making the biggest flag of Khurasan the world has ever seen. More...

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Ummah at Puberty

March 21, 2014 at 11:00 PMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

Nahmaduhu wa nusalli ala...

 

Praise be to Allah who created the broiler chicken which can be grilled to provide high value and low cholesterol nourishment to the faithful. Glory be to the master of the universe who allowed the halal calories to accumulate in the staid bottoms of the scholars of Islam, so that they can fill the pious chairs of the CII and can sift chaff from the kernels and truth from mischief. More...

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The Fauji Band is Coming

March 21, 2014 at 10:56 PMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

Alhamdulillah, all the stakeholders are on the same page. Together, we will drive a stake through the heart of the liberal fascism and the foreign inspired secularism. The two negotiating committees met on a nihari breakfast and discussed the serious issues facing the nation such as women’s kabaddi and Jamshed Dasti. The committee noted with satisfaction that the wild tigers, inspired by the BJP and infiltrating across the Sialkot border have been shot and their pelts sent to Raiwind. Imran Khan has said that the Americans do not want peace in Pakistan. More...

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Shahzada Pervaiz

March 9, 2014 at 2:03 PMAdministrator

 

Muddassar Bashir


Translation:

Muttahir Ahmed Khan

 

Hundreds of moons and the stars once rose;

And twinkled for many a night.

Hundreds of eyes I have that saw,

Whole worlds vanishing from sight.

(Mushtaq Sufi)

 More...

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Aabpara and Istikhara

March 3, 2014 at 6:55 PMAdministrator

Letter to Brother Abdullah

Hakim Hazik

 

Dear Brother Abdullah,

 

The Emir of the Army of the Faithful came to see Yours Truly. Alhamdu Lillah, by the Grace of God we have bombed the hideouts of infidels who hold partners with God and are instrument of infamy and agents of Satan, the Rejected, the Accursed.  More...

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This is Radio Caliphate

March 3, 2014 at 6:45 PMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

Imran  Khan has blood on his hands. The political leaders have played into the hands of the RAW / CIA lobby by talking to the banned terrorist murderous organisation of TTP. The finest army in the world has been reduced to suffer casualties and watch from the sidelines as the American helicopters evacuated TTP fighters from Waziristan and took them to Bagram so that they have their feet massaged by the 72 virginal GIs. More...

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The Eternal State

March 3, 2014 at 6:43 PMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

We are Muslims and every Muslim is passionate about Shariah. The majority of Pakistanis are Sunni Hanfis—theirs’ is the best system and no one should oppose it. Non-Muslims also need not fear the Shariah as Islam protects their rights. More...

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Sharia Deli and Sandwich Bar

March 3, 2014 at 6:39 PMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

All we want is the rule of sharia in the country. If that is implemented, peace will prevail and the war will come to an end. The Emir ul Momineen, Maulana Fazlullah will descend from the Hindukush mountains on his noble white steed and will address the nation on FM radio. He will behead the heads of the NGOs and distribute sewing machines among Mrs. Mazari and Mrs. Qasuri so that she can contribute to the GDP from the security of their own homes. The remains of the enemies of Islam will be dug up and be displayed in the public thoroughfares. Rebellious women will be held down by pious men and flogged in accordance with the injunctions of the holy sharia. More...

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Read My Hips

March 3, 2014 at 6:36 PMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

The prosperity of Pakistan is anchored to my posterior. It is the basis of the ideology of Pakistan. It is the only guarantee of peace in the region of FATA and Fak-Ap. It is the long standing demand of the patriotic circles of the Pukhtunkhwa that Jewish bottoms in Levi jeans belonging to foreign NGOs  are banished. They come from Islamabad and are profiling the patriotic hips for the archives of the National Security Agency. Once they get all the data, the integrity of Ummah and of the country will be in danger. More...

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Jerusalem via Khurasan

January 24, 2014 at 11:08 PMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

 

Things have come to a pass where people are asking to launch an operation if there are any more attacks. This war was imposed  on us. Those who attack us are our misguided brothers. We cannot allow guided missiles to kill our misguided brothers. All we need is a rightly guided caliph and we can be on the path to peace and prosperity. More...

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The Daring Raid of Bahria Seals

January 24, 2014 at 11:06 PMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

Large amounts of political literature were ceased in Turbat. It exemplifies the mortal threat faced by the country as the enemy has infiltrated our premier educational institutions and are brainwashing our youth, making them read biographies of historic personalities. Sources close to Viewpoint have revealed on conditions of anonymity, that large amounts of IQ were also ceased in Ata Shad Degree College. These were immediately destroyed to protect the innocent and to guard the integrity of the country. More...

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The Commonwealth of Edgware

January 24, 2014 at 11:01 PMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

I have always said that we need to control the movement of peepil to ensure harmony in our cities. If we lift all restrictions on movement of peepil, lats will come and the social cohesion will be overwhelmed. More...

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Jahiliyya Town

January 24, 2014 at 10:58 PMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

Dear Readers,

 

Whenever I hold my pen to write a column, liberal fascists start creating a hue and a cry. They cannot tolerate anyone who speaks for Islam and against usury. Illiterate people such as Pervez Hoodbhuoy, Syed Amir Ali and Malala Yusfuzai have ganged up on me. I have told them to go and shave their upper lip first and grow their beard to at least the length of a fist, before they qualify to speak on Islam and the holy sharia. More...

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Full Court Reference

January 24, 2014 at 10:53 PMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

Be respectful, pay attention, be alert. The honour of the throne of Hindustan, His Royal Highness, the Greatest Hero, the Greatest King, the King of Kings, is proceeding in this direction. More...

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Gawd Save the Queen

January 24, 2014 at 10:49 PMAdministrator

 

 

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

I met the Met Chief bhai today in the Daag and the Bones pub, off Iscatland road, over a pint. The meeting istarted in the New Iscatland yard but continued till late. We had time to relax and warm our cackles. He is a gireat guy if you ask me. He told me the Madame Ji Theresa is quite happy to go easy and for the Met to bury the case. The next time Jaraj Gallaway Bhai gets up to ispeak in the parliyament, she will put out a saucer of milik for him to silurp fraam and ask him to leave the matters of istate to the Big Sister and to the Faran and Cammanwealth Affice. More...

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Dhol Spy

January 24, 2014 at 10:46 PMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

The Pink Panther has struck again. It is no other than the inimitable Mrs Shirin Mazari who is known throughout the Ummah for her patriotism, personal warmth and sunnah compliant beard. She has become renowned for some spectacular achievements including the exposure of the infamous Kerry Luger Bill which almost brought the country to its knees by trying to make our valiant army subservient to the corrupt and weak kneed civilian leadership. More...

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Umar Media Presents

January 24, 2014 at 10:36 PMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

Attock has always been a seat of power for the leaders who have shaped the destiny of the Ummah, including Sher Shah of Sur, Hari Singh of Nalwa and Mumtaz Qadri of Sabzi Mandi. Lately, the famous scion of the Durrani dynasty, Brother Brother of Qandahar has held court there. This fort has become the centre of international attention as sundry diplomats and emissaries from all corners of the world are queueing up to pay obeisance and kiss the signet ring of the Caliph designate, may Allah SWT sustain his presence. More...

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Long live Peace Process

January 24, 2014 at 10:32 PMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

We are sorry to inform you that Peace Process is dead (1979-2013). He was born Jamshed Mehsud in Kotkai in 1979. He spent his formative years in Hangu attending the world famous Academy of Peace Studies, Jamia Suicidia. He became a master of the express and the hidden disciplines of knowledge in the glorious tradition of the Wifaq ul Madaris. His schooling instilled in him an insatiable desire to establish and promote interfaith dialogue among the great religions of the world including Ahle Sunnat wal Jamaat and Ghazwa e Hind. More...

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