Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik 

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome aboard this special flight of Tinpot International Airlines to Beijing and other exotic destinations, all of which will be revealed in the fullness of time. We extend our warmest welcome to our first time flyers, Chaudhry Little Authority and Mr. Campfollower Qureshi. We invite them to join our frequent flyer scheme, which offers a range of benefits, including membership of the very exclusive Inbred Social International Club, also called the ISI. More...

Extraordinary Rendition 

March 9, 2013

by Hakim Hazik 

The President of Pakistan and Commander of the Faithful, Brig Zaheer ul Islam Abbasi, confirmed today that the enemy of the state and fugitive from justice, Gen. Retd. Tinpot has been captured today from an underground cellar in Chak Shehzad, the Islamabad suburb that has become a hiding place of dangerous criminals. More...

There was a story that if you give a razor blade to a non human primate, it would inflict fatal self harm. Our Great leader can accomplish the same with a microphone.   More...

Extraordinary Rendition

By Hakim Hazik 

The Ministry of Foreign Affairs spokesman, Mr Half Truth has described as complete lies and fabrication the claim that the Great Leader, Gen Tinpot has met with Mr Ehud Barak during his recent European Tour. He a press statement he said, that the Government of Pakistan would like to be stated categorically, that 1) The Great Leader never met Mr Barak. 2) It was a chance meeting, in which nothing of substance was discussed and 3)For three hours the only discussion that took place was around the right of self-determination of Palestinians, and a two state solution. It had nothing to do with neutralising the Iranian nuclear programme. More...

Transcultural Dialogues 

General (Retd.) Tinpot: In the name of the King Emperor, the president of presidents, George No Clue Bush, I bring you greetings from the people of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan, the Untied Tribal Emirates of FATA, the National Socialist Republic of Balochistan, the United National Port Republic of Karachi and the Chinese People’s Protectorate of Gawadar.   More...

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Extraordinary Rendition 

12^th October, 1999 was a milestone in the history of Pakistan. On that day the nation cast off the shackles on freedom of expression, and started the process of banishing the grim memories of repression of Zia era. There was a flowering of new avenues of expression, and the phenomenal rise of new genres and art forms. This renaissance of liberal and secular outlook was further developed under the enlightened and forward looking supervision of PEMRA and the Press Complaints Commission. More...

by Omar Ali

The political crisis in Pakistan is primarily a creation of military rule. Because the army cannot maintain its dominant position in the face of "normal politics", its agencies work overtime to derail such politics and to undermine any popular leadership. They also encourage local mafias with a view to undermining national parties (since those parties can potentially mobilize the people against the army). The only hope for Pakistan lies in immediately throwing army rule in reverse. More...

Transcultural Dialogues VII

Brig. (Retd.) Witless Cheema: Good news sir ji, we have solved the case. The cause of death was injudicious burping.  

General (Retd.) Tipot: Have you gone completely insane Witless? The country is on fire, the Americans are shouting at me, down the telephone. The stock market is in ruins, the ISI is running scared, in fear of their lives, just because you could not handle a simple press conference, and now you come up with this crazy theory about the cause of death. what have I done to deserve you? More...

DR FARID A. MALIK
For awami (peoples) representation elections have to be free and fair under the watchful eyes of the law otherwise only sarkaris (officials) will get elected. Election is a big circus to seek electoral credibility. The political parties' desire power while the khaki-baboo alliance seeks continuity of status quo. The electorate is disillusioned and will not come to the streets as most leaders have lost trust.  More...

Transcultural Dialogues VI

Gen (Retd.) Tinpot: I think we should sacrifice the Constitution Cow on this Eid. It has been fattened since 1973, all political adventurers try to milk it and it is a drain on financial resources. It's time for a final solution.  More...

Why were the Daily Telegraph journalists kicked out 

'Our  Sonofabitch'

This is what the pervious general said before I was born  He died when I was  in School