Dear danny zens of Lahore shpecially zens, I am writing your faram the durbar of Lahore with Shriek Chairman sitting on the takht of Lahore. As always, I am spoating him. I am the most impatant mimber af his paty. I carry the weight af the hole paty on my strang shoulders. I share the burdens af his leadership by carrying them myself. This brings a smile to the face of the Shriek Chairman and sometimes tears to his eyes More...

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik 

Do you think I am writing to you from Inside Bhati Gate? No sir ji. I am writing to you from the Big Apple. You think Shriek Chairman is the Big Apple? Wrang again, although the Shriek Chairman is big leader and the apple of my eyes. More...

Extraordinary Rendition

By Hakim Hazik 

The Honour and Glory of the Throne of Hindoostan, the Shadow of God, the Great Hero, the Great King, Noor ud Din Mohammad Jahangir Badar, MA (Pol Sci.), LLB (Pb.), will now address a press conference: More...

Why the “gradualists” were wrong.

By Omar Ali

In the days following the election I received a good deal of mail from “gradualists” who felt that “precipitate action” at this sensitive juncture would somehow disrupt the supposedly “delicate” process of transition to democracy in Pakistan. I was among those who insisted that such “gradualism” would NOT lead to transition to democracy. Rather, it would lead BACK to rule by secret agencies and behind the scenes operatives. More...

Justice Denied 

Monday, 28 April , 2008, 14:39  

Karachi: Three weeks since Jagdeesh Kumar, a 22-year-old Hindu worker in a garment factory in Pakistan's largest city, was beaten to death by a mob for allegedly making blasphemous remarks about Prophet Mohammad, his murderers remain unpunished. More...

Extraordinary Rendition

by: Hakim Hazik 

My dear Pakistani Brothers And Sisters,

At the stroke of midnight hour, on behalf of the valiant armed forces, I have taken over control as the Caliph of God on Earth, Emir of the Faithful, Chief Martial Law Administrator and President of the Moderately Islamic Republic of Pakistan. More...

Letter from: Ghulam Farooq Dogar 

Hello

I am an ordinary Pakistani and have no access to political leadership in Pakistan. It is through all of you, I hope to get access to Pakistan's political leadership in particular to Co-Chairman Asif Ali Zardari and Prime Minister of Pakistan Hon. Yousaf Raza Gilani. I merely want to ask them a few questions, only if they care to consider and answer. I will be very grateful and obliged for your favour.  More...

Transcultural Dialogues 

By: Hakim Hazik 

Minister of Science: Do you know much about culture, Minister Ji? 

Minister of Culture: Not a lot more than you know about science. But I can pronounce ‘r’, which is a great deal more than Jahangir Badar can do. It is also the greatest cultural achievement in the history of Bhati Gate, since Allama Iqbal wrote the national anthem. This has not escaped the notice of Mian Sahib. More...

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik 

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome aboard this special flight of Tinpot International Airlines to Beijing and other exotic destinations, all of which will be revealed in the fullness of time. We extend our warmest welcome to our first time flyers, Chaudhry Little Authority and Mr. Campfollower Qureshi. We invite them to join our frequent flyer scheme, which offers a range of benefits, including membership of the very exclusive Inbred Social International Club, also called the ISI. More...

Transcultural Dialogues 

By Hakim Hazik 

The Prince: Nice moustache Ada, only slightly grizzled, gives you poise and gravitas; looks graceful and authoritative. Very compatible with your new stature. The slight trimming that I recommended seems to have worked perfectly. More...

I think the most important man in Pakistan at the moment is not Kayani or Musharraf, but Zardari. Pakistan has witnessed a most amazing transformation in Zardari, since 27^th of December: from thief to statesman. He has made excellent political decisions, including trying to make peace with the MQM. I think the MQM were taken by surprise, as they started distancing themselves from Musharraf and talking of all the questions about 12^th of May not having been answered, (implying that it was the army, not them, responsible for the carnage.) Zardari’s coalition with Nawaz Sharif, in spite of Musharraf’s manoeuvrings was a great decision, as was Nawaz Sharif’s decision to accept the right of the PPP to form the Government. (Think what Pakistan’s history would be like if Bhutto had accepted that Mujeeb ur Rehman had the right to form the Government, and Mujeeb had offered him the post of Prime Minister.) More...

By Omar Ali 

Recent events in Pakistan show that our worst fears may have been correct and musharraf and his agents in Karachi (or is it the other way round?) will not allow any peaceful transition to democracy. (some people may prefer to frame this as "Pakistanis in general are not ready for democracy"., but considering the mess the army has made in 50 years of army rule, its not clear how all pakistanis or "democracy" can be blamed equally for this mess). Imagine, if the establishment had quietly accepted the results of the last polls, what would we have seen? New governments would have been in place by now. PPP in Sindh, PPP led coalitions in Federal and Balochistan, PMLN led coalition in Punjab and ANP led coalition in Pakhtunkhwa. More...

By Rukhe Zehra Zaidi 

Pakistan had taken sides in a foreign war at the behest of a military dictator. We offered our proxy support, on behalf of America and financed, radicalized and trained a group of mostly poor and ignorant men. Armed with weapons and a reason to fight they were successful in achieving a military objective. For us any reason they had to fight was welcome as long as it helped us in winning the war. In the words of Sarah Humayun, ‘We might not have believed in their brand of Islam, but we could ignore the gulf between it and the variety commonly practiced in the larger interest of fostering a sense of solidarity between the puppets and the puppeteers’. More...

By Hakim Hazik 

Steelman; Dear Brother, let me put a mark on your forehead, with the ashes of the NAB, to ward off the evil eye. Fortune has favoured you. You have seen the coronation of Bilawal, won the elections, seen off the challenge by the pretender Amin Fahim and Judge Dogar is hoovering up the remaining cases. Every reason to be pleased Brother. More...

Transcultural Dialogues 

By Hakim Hazik 

Gen. (Retd.) Tinpot: O Master, O Lord, O Chaudhry of the State Department and of the Empire, hallowed be the ground you walk on. Welcome to this land and this fiefdom.   More...

Transcultural Dialogues

by Hakim Hazik 

(Trrrrrn Trrrrrrrn .........)

Il Leader: Edgware High Street Pizza Shop, Quaid-e-Tehrik ispeaking, via telephonic address, how may I help you?

Customer: Can I order a deep pan, extra large, ultra hot, Sicilian please.

Il Leader: Would you like extra toppings sir, we do from extra hot jalapenos to gunpowder. We also have ispecially imported Hamdard Corporation soup, Takbeer Publications ketchup and Edhi Foundation chutney. More...

By Mohammad Ayub 

People are foolish

They will be scared,

They will never ask questions,

They will always follow orders.

Where are the wise men,

Who gave this counsel?

More...

By Hakim Hazik 

The spring of 2007 led to a long hot summer. It led to the conflagration that left the remaining credibility and legitimacy of the establishment a smoking hulk. Was it just Pervez Musharraf’s bad luck that he ran into a recalcitrant and peevish judge, prone to unpredictable tantrums? Was it just unfortunate that the thugs of Islamabad police were caught on camera roughing up the Chief Justice, leading to the public outrage? Or was there something more fundamental that had changed to lead to this outcome?

More...

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 Extraordinary Rendition

O brethren of earthenware

We are assembled here

To sit and ponder how and where

We are to take our future fare

We have been screwed by fate 

More...

Transcultural Dialogues

Gen. (Retd.) Tinpot: Dot, Buddy stop licking Maulana’s face. I do apologise Maulana. I am not sure what has got into them since 18^th of February. They have become very disobedient.  I think they have got fleas, or maybe they have been bitten by another bug. There are strange creatures everywhere. I saw Kashif Abbasi on the telly yesterday More...

More...

by Omar Ali

Here is my suggestion for the restoration of the judiciary (and believe me, its not as crazy as it looks):
Tomorrow morning or on Wednesday, the various lawyers bodies should announce a time and place from which the lawyers will lead a massive rally towards Islamabad, to liberate the imprisoned chief justice and take him back to his office in triumph. All political parties and members of civil society should be invited to join this great rally. More...

Dear countrymen,

 I would like to draw your attention to the fact that our journalists are hardly fulfilling their obligation to their noble profession. Recently a newspaper published scathing criticism of our iconoclastic initiative to destroy Buddha’s statues up in the north. Contrary to what the newspaper would have the people believe, we did it as a mark of respect for Buddha, as we believe that this is what Budhha would have wanted. Besides, there was a historical fallacy that needed to be rectified. We all know from our history books that while Buddha sat under a Bodhi tree, meditating on the causes of suffering, he always wore a loincloth, whereas in some of the statues Buddha was depicted wearing robes: a corrupting western influence on the Gandharan artist. Now, would Budhha have liked his image to be tainted by ‘anthropomorphism’ or ‘syncretism’? Obviously not, and therefore, we corrected the mistake with the help of dynamite to preserve Buddha’s true legacy. In addition, we have issued a polite warning to the newspaper to ‘improve its journalism’ More...

Extraordinary Rendition

By Hakim Hazik 

The Ministry of Foreign Affairs spokesman, Mr Half Truth has described as complete lies and fabrication the claim that the Great Leader, Gen Tinpot has met with Mr Ehud Barak during his recent European Tour. He a press statement he said, that the Government of Pakistan would like to be stated categorically, that 1) The Great Leader never met Mr Barak. 2) It was a chance meeting, in which nothing of substance was discussed and 3)For three hours the only discussion that took place was around the right of self-determination of Palestinians, and a two state solution. It had nothing to do with neutralising the Iranian nuclear programme. More...

Link to The News story

Honorable Justice Wajihuddin Ahmad has requested the public to share their suggestions for any peaceful steps/tactics/ways that could help make the movement for restoration of rule of law more effective.

Creative and innovative yet rational and practical ideas, focusing to spread the message to masses, giving the movement some momentum, getting maximum people of all colours of community involved, keeping in view the hurdles on the way, will be really appreciated.

Please post your suggestions here as comments. These will be compiled and sent to HJWA for consideration in their meetings with other leaders of the movement.

In a statement to Pakistan Politics, Justice Wajihuddin Ahmed, has disclosed that it has been communicated to him indirectly that the leadership of the lawyers movement for the restoration of the judiciary and rule of law, is likely to become the next target for elimination, by the same anti-state, anti-democracy elements that were responsible for Benazir Bhutto’s assassination.

He appeals to all Pakistanis to join him in his prayers for the safety of members of the lawyer community, and the future of Pakistan.

More...

Read more

Letter to Brother Abdullah 

A thousand praises be to God, who created the planet and fossil fuel, and eternal damnation and Hellfire^® missile on those Tinpots, who spread rebellion and disorder on earth, and send the righteous and the faithful on forced pilgrimage.  More...

As Benazir performs her dance of seven veils, Nawaz Sharif is under tremendous pressure to go in for the elections.

Our advice is: Don’t.

Here is the main basis of our argument: This is not 1985. More...

 Diesel Powered

The political parties have looked at martial law's glass eye and recoiled with fear. Maulana Fazal's JUI, the inveterate coquette, is fluttering it's eyes in invitation.More...

 Nawaz Sharif Returns

His Royal Highness King Abdullah, Custodian of Harem Sharif and Nawaz Sharif, has decided to relinquish custody of Nawaz Sharif.
Mr. Sharif paid His Highness his farewell visit today and went over his travel itinerary with him, with a  great deal of  brotherly love and affection, that binds the Ummah together.

More...

Why were the Daily Telegraph journalists kicked out 

'Our  Sonofabitch'

This is what the pervious general said before I was born  He died when I was  in School