God, Qazi Anwar and I

Author: Administrator | Posted: 25. April 2010 13:44 1

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

We don’t need bread, we need ideology. We don’t need a country, we need a religion. We don’t want our children to go to school, get qualifications and live in prosperity. We want them to go to the madrassa, learn to recite the qaida with gentle rocking movements, become pious servants of the Ummah and explode in street corners.

The world is too materialistic. We do not want to be slaves of this material world. We do not want to be a part of this world of gross domestic product, current account balance and macroeconomic indicators. We want to live in the world of dreams, visions and mystery. Has anybody bothered to measure the GDP of spiritual well being? Do we know the per capita offering of namaz? Do we need to give tax relief on the export of ideology?

The pursuit of the material well being of the citizens is the way of the infidels. The way of the Ummah is to look after the spiritual well being of its citizens, so that when they achieve martyrdom due to starvation, malnutrition and living in filth, they are guaranteed a place of everlasting peace and tranquillity in the hereafter. Our blessed Republic is not about here and now. It is about eternity and life everlasting. This is our national aspiration as enshrined in the Objective Resolution in the constitution of the Islamic Republic of Cloud Cuckoo land.

Fortunately the highest court in the land is very aware of the determination of the nation, to live according to its ideology. It takes a very dim view of the pathetic attempts of the non sadiq and non amin members of the parliament, to undermine our ideology. This cannot be allowed to happen. After consultation with God and Supreme Court Bar Association, the court will disallow any attempts to interfere with the basic structure of our ideology, which is based on purity of spirit, goodness of heart, pleasing thoughts of grandeur, a minimal nuclear deterrent and IMF bailout package.

It is our great good fortune that the court is composed of servants of God. It is only answerable to itself and God. It is not answerable to the parliament which consists of liars and cheats, with fake degrees, who represents people with very little education. How can these brutes be allowed to ride roughshod over the eternal principle of the supremacy of ideology. Parliaments will come and go, but ideology will remain. It is indestructible.

We can allow our children to die in streets, we can allow our soldiers to be beheaded with breadknives, but we cannot and will not compromise on our ideology. Our beliefs are precious to us. They reflect a thousand years of our glorious history. We believe in the right to own agricultural land with no limits. We believe in the sanctity of free market. We believe in hydel power. We believe in kunda system.

We will march forward into the brave new world with no fear in our hearts. God is with us as is Qazi Anwar. Parliament is a shambles. Bar council reigns supreme.

Glory glory hallelujah.

More articles by Hakim Hazik

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qaiser abbas zaidi , on 4/26/2010 12:30:33 PM Said:

Excellent piece of prose esp. first three paragraphs,hitting on the head of where really our ideological bankruptsy lies.
Satire, as always, is of a very high standard. Well done Hakim. Generally, your command on the use of the language,its idiom in both Urdu and English to convey your point across is extra ordinary. You don't let your reader to get confused or struggle with trying to understand the "Ibarat". And that is a sign of a clear thinking mind.
I would however prefer, and that is only my view, if your content is less politicised and if you do not use different individuals' accents to create humour. I find that somewhat racist.I hope you won't mind these comments.

Here are some of my thoughts on the subject of the article above.
We as muslims say that we believe in both this life and the life after death. we laugh at those who we believe, only believe in this life. This is where we lose our objectivity.
As a group, in the main, we use our resources (time and energy)in furthering the cause of improving our lot in the after life by adhereing to the ritualistic aspect of our religion and by being madly passionate about the controversies assciated with history of of our religion and sectarian beliefs liked with it. We totally ignore, again as a group, the values and principles (mudane things like truth, honesty, tolerence and respect for each other) required to be a good human being. Our ethics only revolves around "Faahaashi" i.e women's topography and how best to hide it.

Then we are deluded with the idea of "owning the last/final scriptur from God and therefore inherit the right to rule the world by (hook or by crook)". Any new piece of theoretical knowlede does not impress us because we suddenly realise it is infact already in Quran and therefore does not inspire us to seek knowlege (Even when Quran asks us to seek knowlege). It only inspires us to recite Quran more vigorously. All those products of theoretical knowlege simple wordly things like electricity, clean water, modern houses, cars, refrigrators, TV, computers, nuclear bombs etc etc we ought to own again by hook or by crook because we believe in this life as well, after all and we are supposed to lead this world anyway. How can we do that without acquiring modern means?

Our spirituality extends from exaltation achieved through a puff of cannabis to the ultimate martyrdom achieved through suicide bombing.
We believe in the justification of using under hand means to acqiure all that is of significance in this material world. We also believe in somehow managing to impress upon God to gain whatever siginficant is available if any in the after life by supoosedly becoming "a good muslim" (without becoming a good human being) armed with well performed rituals and rites and total adherence to the principle of absolute female subjugation.
God is great.

JusticeDenied

God, Qazi Anwar and I

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