His Excellency President Goldfinger

Extraordinary Rendition

By Hakim Hazik

(National anthem plays)...

Ladies and gentlemen, Adas and Adis, you will have by now heard the news that the despised General Tinpot has fled the country for an unknown destination. The triumph of democracy is now complete and the sovereignty of the parliament is now fully established. By the grace of God and the blessings of the State Department, your brother intends to run this country as president. More...

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Posted by Admin on Sunday, August 17, 2008 5:35 AM

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Appeal from a Cancer Patient

A 23 year old patient suffering from brain tumor in Pakistan needs Rs 2 Million (around 26000 US Dollars ) for his treatment. I was aksed to request JDP visitors for help More...

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Posted by Admin on Friday, August 15, 2008 8:59 PM

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Live Burials

Justice Denied

The Asian Human Rights Commission (AHRC) has received information
from a remote area of Balochistan province, that five women were
buried alive, allegedly by the younger brother of Mr. Sadiq Umrani,
the provincial minister and a prominent leader of the Pakistan
People's Party, the ruling party. However, police have still not
arrested the perpetrators after one month of the incident. More...

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Posted by Admin on Thursday, August 14, 2008 10:24 AM

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Joint Communiqué

Extraordinary Rendition

By Hakim Hazik

Senator Goldfinger: Ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, you will have noticed that we have called this meeting a communiqué, and not a declaration and that it is taking place in Islamabad and not in Bhurban. Thank you for being such imbeciles to turn up again and be prepared to lap up the organic waste, which we have taken great pains to put together for you. More...

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Posted by Admin on Tuesday, August 12, 2008 1:58 PM

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Ladybird Ladybird

Extraordinary Rendition

By Hakim Hazik

Lady bird lady bird, fly away home

Your house is on fire, your children all gone

Do you want an ice-lolly? I so love summer. I love travelling, especially to Washington, but the cost of flying has gone up. I have uncles who are rich and famous and can fix anything. That is why my uncle Goldfinger went to Riyadh, his Sindhi topi in hand. He spread his ajrak on the ground, and sat on it till Uncle Abdullah dropped him a cheque of 6 billion dollars and all was well. More...

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Posted by Admin on Friday, August 01, 2008 4:42 PM

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تلے گنگ دیاں بھیڈاں

تلے گنگ دیاں بھیڈاں

محمد ایوب

تلے گنگ دیاں بھیڈاں

تک بچڑی بھسا ٹپن

اکھےدھار اساں دی تھندی

ان غیر دے ملک وکاوے

اسلاماباد دے گھوڑے

جنہاں لکھاںراتب تھوڑے

ٹپ سڑک چنگاری کڈھدے

کینویں سانویں تھی کے وگدے

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Posted by Admin on Monday, July 28, 2008 5:18 PM

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Chiropractic

Extraordinary Rendition

By Hakim Hazik

My name is Moonscape Chira. I am the right hand man of Co-chairman Goldfinger. Brother Naek is his left one. He doubles as his polo pony and legal adviser. I am also the Co-chairman’s masseur. We all work flexibly. More...

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Posted by Admin on Sunday, July 27, 2008 7:08 AM

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هاتھی

رفعت عباس 

اك چین بزار چ كھڑكدی آوے، متھے تے اك رتی بتی هر ویلے پئی بكھے، چار چفیرے گُھمدی هوئی تے رسته سِنگھدی سونڈ وچوں پیا دھوں نكلدا، هودا جثے لتھا هویاتے كنڈاُتے اك ڈھكن باقی﴿هودے وچ كوئی بیٹھا هوئے یا دھر اندر وی هاتھی آپ اے﴾ پوچھل نال اك ترٹی بھنی گھڑی بدھی، شهر دا رُكیا ٹائم دسیندی

The Elephant

By Riffat Abbas

A jangling chain is heading this way; a red light blazing on the crown, the trunk revolving all around, sniffing the ground, exhaling fumes, a howdah is laden on this form, needing only a slight adjustment (is someone riding in the howdah or is it the beast itself inside?); tied to the tail is a smashed up watch; on it, the time of the city stands still

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Habib Jalib - Mainay Uss Say Yeh Kaha - Laal

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Categories: resistance poetry, art and literature

Posted by Admin on Wednesday, July 09, 2008 7:06 PM

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Do You Have Love In Your Culture?

Justice Denied

Le Monde Diplomatique
3 July 2008
By Dahr Jamail

On June 16 I was the co-recipient of the Martha Gellhorn Prize for Journalism with Mohammed Omer in London. Omer is a 24 year-old Palestinian with whom I felt, and feel, honored to have shared this award. During my brief talk while accepting the award, I told the audience I could not think of anyone else I would rather share the award with. Omer's work from his Gaza homeland has been a beacon of humanitarian reportage; his work serves as a model of peace and attempted reconciliation with Israel for the youth in his occupied territory. More...

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Posted by Admin on Tuesday, July 08, 2008 12:31 PM

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Thousands face death row reprieve

The Pakistani cabinet has approved a plan to commute the sentences of thousands of prisoners on death row to life imprisonment, officials say.

The proposal, which must be endorsed by President Musharraf, is expected to benefit some 7,000 condemned prisoners.

Rights group Amnesty International said the move would reprieve about one-third of the world's death row population.

It is still not clear if inmates sentenced for drugs, terrorism or spying offences would also benefit. More...

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Posted by Admin on Thursday, July 03, 2008 11:28 AM

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King Badar the Conquerer

Extraordinary Rendition

By Hakim Hazik

The Honour and Glory of the Throne of Hindoostan, the Shadow of God, the Great Hero, the Great King, Noor ud Din Mohammad Jahangir Badar, MA (Pol Sci.), LLB (Pb.), will now address a press conference: More...

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Categories: Politics

Posted by Admin on Monday, May 26, 2008 12:59 AM

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Betrayal

Why the “gradualists” were wrong.

By Omar Ali

In the days following the election I received a good deal of mail from “gradualists” who felt that “precipitate action” at this sensitive juncture would somehow disrupt the supposedly “delicate” process of transition to democracy in Pakistan. I was among those who insisted that such “gradualism” would NOT lead to transition to democracy. Rather, it would lead BACK to rule by secret agencies and behind the scenes operatives. More...

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Categories: Politics

Posted by Admin on Thursday, May 08, 2008 7:42 PM

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The Season of Songs

By Qaiser Zaidi

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Categories: resistance poetry, art and literature

Posted by Admin on Wednesday, May 07, 2008 8:02 PM

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Jagdeesh Kumar

Justice Denied

Monday, 28 April , 2008, 14:39

Karachi: Three weeks since Jagdeesh Kumar, a 22-year-old Hindu worker in a garment factory in Pakistan's largest city, was beaten to death by a mob for allegedly making blasphemous remarks about Prophet Mohammad, his murderers remain unpunished. More...

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Categories: Politics

Posted by Admin on Monday, May 05, 2008 6:42 PM

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Meray Aziz Hamwatno

Extraordinary Rendition

by: Hakim Hazik

My dear Pakistani Brothers And Sisters,

At the stroke of midnight hour, on behalf of the valiant armed forces, I have taken over control as the Caliph of God on Earth, Emir of the Faithful, Chief Martial Law Administrator and President of the Moderately Islamic Republic of Pakistan. More...

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Categories: Army | Politics

Posted by Admin on Friday, May 02, 2008 11:40 PM

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Con Man

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Categories: resistance poetry, art and literature

Posted by Admin on Friday, May 02, 2008 4:57 PM

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Citizen Dogar Wants to Know

Letter from: Ghulam Farooq Dogar

Hello

I am an ordinary Pakistani and have no access to political leadership in Pakistan. It is through all of you, I hope to get access to Pakistan's political leadership in particular to Co-Chairman Asif Ali Zardari and Prime Minister of Pakistan Hon. Yousaf Raza Gilani. I merely want to ask them a few questions, only if they care to consider and answer. I will be very grateful and obliged for your favour. More...

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Categories: Politics | Judiciary

Posted by Admin on Monday, April 28, 2008 3:17 PM

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Yes Minister Ji

Transcultural Dialogues

By: Hakim Hazik

Minister of Science: Do you know much about culture, Minister Ji?

Minister of Culture: Not a lot more than you know about science. But I can pronounce ‘r’, which is a great deal more than Jahangir Badar can do. It is also the greatest cultural achievement in the history of Bhati Gate, since Allama Iqbal wrote the national anthem. This has not escaped the notice of Mian Sahib. More...

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Categories: Politics

Posted by Admin on Sunday, April 27, 2008 5:23 PM

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Tinpot International Airlines

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome aboard this special flight of Tinpot International Airlines to Beijing and other exotic destinations, all of which will be revealed in the fullness of time. We extend our warmest welcome to our first time flyers, Chaudhry Little Authority and Mr. Campfollower Qureshi. We invite them to join our frequent flyer scheme, which offers a range of benefits, including membership of the very exclusive Inbred Social International Club, also called the ISI. More...

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Categories: Musharraf | Politics

Posted by Admin on Monday, April 21, 2008 9:28 AM

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The Prince and the Kingmaker

Transcultural Dialogues

By Hakim Hazik

The Prince: Nice moustache Ada, only slightly grizzled, gives you poise and gravitas; looks graceful and authoritative. Very compatible with your new stature. The slight trimming that I recommended seems to have worked perfectly. More...

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Categories: Politics

Posted by Admin on Monday, April 14, 2008 2:22 AM

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Mr. 100%

By Hakim Hazik

I think the most important man in Pakistan at the moment is not Kayani or Musharraf, but Zardari. Pakistan has witnessed a most amazing transformation in Zardari, since 27^th of December: from thief to statesman. He has made excellent political decisions, including trying to make peace with the MQM. I think the MQM were taken by surprise, as they started distancing themselves from Musharraf and talking of all the questions about 12^th of May not having been answered, (implying that it was the army, not them, responsible for the carnage.) Zardari’s coalition with Nawaz Sharif, in spite of Musharraf’s manoeuvrings was a great decision, as was Nawaz Sharif’s decision to accept the right of the PPP to form the Government. (Think what Pakistan’s history would be like if Bhutto had accepted that Mujeeb ur Rehman had the right to form the Government, and Mujeeb had offered him the post of Prime Minister.) More...

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Categories: Politics

Posted by Admin on Thursday, April 10, 2008 5:48 PM

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The Downward Spiral

By Omar Ali

Recent events in Pakistan show that our worst fears may have been correct and musharraf and his agents in Karachi (or is it the other way round?) will not allow any peaceful transition to democracy. (some people may prefer to frame this as "Pakistanis in general are not ready for democracy"., but considering the mess the army has made in 50 years of army rule, its not clear how all pakistanis or "democracy" can be blamed equally for this mess). Imagine, if the establishment had quietly accepted the results of the last polls, what would we have seen? New governments would have been in place by now. PPP in Sindh, PPP led coalitions in Federal and Balochistan, PMLN led coalition in Punjab and ANP led coalition in Pakhtunkhwa. More...

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Categories: Politics

Posted by Admin on Thursday, April 10, 2008 2:50 PM

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Breaking the Cycle

By Rukhe Zehra Zaidi

It seems that recycling storylines and repeat performances are not solely the prerogative of cinema and theatre. In Pakistan, the plot of politics is often repeated and rehashed until the performance has become a fine tuned and much rehearsed drama on the ongoing tussle between democracy and the military. Dictators replace democrats, democrats negotiate and bargain with each other and the army, and the masses stand by much like the citizens of fair Verona caught in the crossfire of the fighting between the Montagues and the Capulets. And although the actors change on a seasonal basis, the transition is now almost seamless and perfect. Costume changes require minimal refitting as the Ayubs make way for the Zias and Musharrafs, and the MMA of today steps into the shoes of the Islamic Democratic Alliance of yesterday. And repeated though it might be, the performance is by no means dull as bloody assassinations, behind the scenes plotting and scheming, horse-trading, and even exploding helicopters all add to the political experience in Pakistan. One feature of this repertoire of action is the role played by the much maligned MQM.

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Categories: Politics

Posted by Admin on Thursday, April 10, 2008 2:40 PM

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Truth And Reconciliation

Pakistan had taken sides in a foreign war at the behest of a military dictator. We offered our proxy support, on behalf of America and financed, radicalized and trained a group of mostly poor and ignorant men. Armed with weapons and a reason to fight they were successful in achieving a military objective. For us any reason they had to fight was welcome as long as it helped us in winning the war. In the words of Sarah Humayun, ‘We might not have believed in their brand of Islam, but we could ignore the gulf between it and the variety commonly practiced in the larger interest of fostering a sense of solidarity between the puppets and the puppeteers’. More...

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Categories: Politics

Posted by Admin on Tuesday, April 08, 2008 8:37 PM

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The Gold and the Steel

By Hakim Hazik

Steelman; Dear Brother, let me put a mark on your forehead, with the ashes of the NAB, to ward off the evil eye. Fortune has favoured you. You have seen the coronation of Bilawal, won the elections, seen off the challenge by the pretender Amin Fahim and Judge Dogar is hoovering up the remaining cases. Every reason to be pleased Brother. More...

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Categories: Politics

Posted by Admin on Friday, April 04, 2008 9:14 PM

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Chaudhry Negroponte

Transcultural Dialogues

By Hakim Hazik

Gen. (Retd.) Tinpot: O Master, O Lord, O Chaudhry of the State Department and of the Empire, hallowed be the ground you walk on. Welcome to this land and this fiefdom. More...

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Categories: Politics

Posted by Admin on Monday, March 31, 2008 2:19 AM

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Letter to the Queen

by Asif Raja

Inspired by none other than the ‘Muflis-e-Haal’ of his time, the one and only Saadat Hasan Manto, I have decided to write a few letters to Her Majesty the Queen of Great Britain, also affectionately known as Ma’am and otherwise HRH Queen Elizabeth the Second!

Dear Ma’am

I have decided to write a series of letters to Your Royal Highness over a period of time. The purpose of these letters will get clearer in the course of time.

Allow me to introduce myself. I am a humble, loyal and dedicated subject of yours, though Your Majesty’s Government has changed my official status to a ‘citizen’. I, however, being somewhat stuck in history, would like to think of myself as the former. Not only this, but I can lay claim that this very honour was inherited by me; as generations before me have served you and your forefathers with even greater diligence. More...

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Posted by Admin on Wednesday, March 26, 2008 4:52 PM

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Quaid-e-Tehrik Pizza Shop

Transcultural Dialogues

by Hakim Hazik

(Trrrrrn Trrrrrrrn .........)

Il Leader: Edgware High Street Pizza Shop, Quaid-e-Tehrik ispeaking, via telephonic address, how may I help you?

Customer: Can I order a deep pan, extra large, ultra hot, Sicilian please.

Il Leader: Would you like extra toppings sir, we do from extra hot jalapenos to gunpowder. We also have ispecially imported Hamdard Corporation soup, Takbeer Publications ketchup and Edhi Foundation chutney. More...

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Categories: Politics

Posted by Admin on Sunday, March 23, 2008 2:29 AM

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TUNED OUT

‘The government is not fulfilling its responsibility to fight terrorism and protect the lives of the people’, said an eminent politician as reported by a newspaper. The argument sounds familiar as it has been made before. We want the government to realize its responsibility to fight the battle against extremism and terrorism alone. The media is entrusted with the job of creating awareness in the masses. But the media can propagate awareness only to the extent that it is aware itself. Even the journalists who yearn for freedom of expression want it hedged when the freedom goes against their favorite school of ideology. For example, Shahid Masood of Geo TV was all for revealing the signs of Kiamat but did not want Maulana Abdul Aziz to be shown on TV fleeing the Lal Mosque clad in a burqa, since he thought it would bring a bad name to Islam. More...

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Posted by Admin on Tuesday, March 18, 2008 10:37 AM

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