Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

My Lords,

On the behalf of the Sipah Salar, Field Marshal Avatar Pervez and the leader of the Maimanah, General Braveheart, I submit that the detention was legal under the Army Act 1952, section 2 sub clause 1 (d).

These eleven men posed a great danger to the national security and integrity. With them roaming free, the public law and order was faced with the  gravest risk. I therefore beseech the esteemed court to allow them to be kept under the protective custody of the most esteemed institution of the land, the unrivaled and peerless ISI. 

As the honourable court will know, we are the biggest public welfare organization in Asia.  The only other organization which can claim to have a comparable level of achievements is Abdul Sattar Edhi. We provide shelter for the poor and the homeless, especially to the unemployed young men from the Middle East, North Africa and Chechnya. We have the biggest public welfare network in the world under the able guidance of Hafiz Mohammad Saeed in Muridke. 

These men have been kept under the most humane conditions possible in this country. They have been fed regularly, at least once a week. Extreme care  was taken that we do not break any bones, except long bones, when applying internationally recognized techniques of investigation, in accordance with the Abu Gharib Handbook of Enhanced Interrogation. 

We submit, My Lords that these men had nothing to complain and had everything to be thankful for, for their boarding and lodging in most benevolent conditions. If they had been caught in Swat, they would have been blindfolded and shot and their execution saved for the posterity on the National Arhives (along with the Double D and Nasty Nancy video). But as they were caught from the Supreme Court, they were taken to a safe house in Peshawar. 

They have repaid this kindness by indulging in cold blooded asymmetric warfare. They have started to die in a cowardly and shameless fashion, just to malign the good name of the country. I would beseech the court that notice should be taken of the egregious behavior and they should be bound by court order to stop this vicious campaign of harassment. 

I would submit My Lords, that in spite of this unceasing provocation, my clients have behaved with utmost restraint. They have parked their bodies with care and with respect in easily identified and properly registered ambulances by the roadside. 

My clients would like to remind the court that they support the rule of law in Pakistan. It was with their support and indulgence that my honourable lords were able to seat themselves on the mahogany benches of this august marble edifice. It is not beyond the realm of possibility that they could be once again asked to travel on on the GT road to address the bar council in Lahore. 

My Lords, with utmost respect, I rest my case,

Raja Mohmmad Irshad

Counsel for the ISI