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A Sloot to Miansab

Tuzk e Jahangiri

By: Hakim Hazik

You think that peepal sitting in parliayment are all nin cum poops. All peepal sitting in the sapreem coat are fountain houses of wisdom and journal knawledge. MNAs have fake degrees. Has any bady looked at the degrees af the sapreem coat? Are they all janwin? If you like to be the la maker, you shud fat the lection. Then you can make the la and no worry bout the ejucation af la makers. But it is the peepal who decide whether to lect you ar nat.

If peepal want to lect MNAs who are illiterate ar ejucated in Gormint Jute Mat High Sakool, you can nat become maternal uncles af damo cracy sir jee. Peepal are masters, you are servants. They pint you, you do nat pint yourself. They pay for your wigs and the podar and the chobdar and his danda. Therefore think before you sapeak.

You don’t like parliyament passing mendments and you give a right to the fauji tinpots to make the law and mend the canstituiton, far three years. Have you fargatten the history sir jee. I think if you had eaten beatings at the hands af faujis, you would nat farget history. At least you would remember your own history, before you tack the parliyament.

I must sloot Miansab. He spoats joodeeshal kmmission. Shbazsab also spoats joodeeshal kmission. This was in the chatter of damo cracy. Shriek chairman spoats joodeeshal kmission. Slowly slowly the boota af damo cracy is growing satrang. The boot af the fauj is becoming weak. If Shriek Chairman and Miansab gree among themselves and become brother brother, nabady can touch a hair an their bady. Kiyanisaab can rub his hands in sarrow and Akram Shaikh can have a fit in the court room, but 18th mendment will stay.

I must sloot Miansab gain. He says that Ahmadis are our brathers and sisters and our assets. This is the fust time that Miansab has declared his assets. Normally he keeps them in the counts af Sulah Hudabiya paper mills.  Still, I must sloot. That’s two sloots in two mints. You must nat tell Kianysaab. He likes all sloots for himself. I think so, that it is time that he starts slooting the lected representatives af peepal. It is nat easy. It will take practice. It is better than slooting the Mercans and the Arbis and even the Cheeni brathers. It will pay in the end.

We must get religion out af palitics. We must get the maulvi out af the media.

We must change our political culture. We must tax our agriculture. There should nat be any holy caoos. The steel mill is a holy caoo. The PIA is a holy caoo. But the biggest holy caoo nobady talks bout. Nat Feez Shaikh saab. Nat Shriek Chairman. Nat Miansab. Nobady is satrang in their biceps and their quadriceps. I must talk bout it because I am the Secty Journal, and also because I am nat fraid.

Let’s talk bout the Holy Army of the Holy Land.


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