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Bring Back the Empire

Letter to the Queen

By: Asif Raja 

Dear Ma’am

It has just occurred to me to write a letter to you on an impulse which I am known more for, rather than allocating  protected time to sit down and type the letters, as I have promised, to keep your highness informed and amused.

This letter will just tell you to visit the site called Justice Denied. It is a story of two women; one ending up in a cell and the other in a palace. It seems that ever since the good British left us a sense of paranoia has engulfed us. It especially includes those who claim to be the guardians of our morality.

Nach-ganaa has been a part of our culture and the British used to like to be entertained by nautch girls. Whether a live performance a video is any different, I can’t say. I guess a live one offers many more possibilities because one can easily cross over to the stage and take matters into one's own hands. I am sure in future we will be able to cross into the DVD's as well.

Anyway I am just writing today to lay the blame squarely on the British shoulders for all our problems. Ah, it’s all Dick's fault yet once again, you are thinking.  

We all do know that you and Uncle Phil have separate rooms but my worst fears are that after reading my letters, your dislike of Lord Dick increasing day by day, may result in you and Uncle occupying separate houses all together. Well, I guess if one can afford it, why not. Men and women do not to get along in peace at all times. The only problem is that the vast majority don't have a spare room like you do.  

Lord Dick's name always creeps into my letters. But then he, along with Grandpa George was responsible your match with a man who was born on a kitchen table. Who says miracles don’t happen.  But my complaint is much more serious. Being your jaddi pushti ghulam and servant I do appreciate the railway tracks that were laid down in grandmas' and various grandpas' names, Mayo Hospital, where I was a resident, Lawrence College where I went to board just like Brother Charles did in Gordonston and got bullied in the same way, plus loads of other things, not the least the colonial home my maternal grandfather lived in.  

Knowing that we natives are greedy and poor planners, which your mother must have told you, why did your father's government not make better provision for electricity? Why did they leave hastily after the Dick's intervention is also beyond me. Now we have come to a situation where the government blames the people for multiplying and the people blame the government for any and everything.

So its power outages, trains being burnt, price hikes and Asif Zardari. It is frankly not looking good. I must request you to activate the law which gives you the right to claim back any land that was claimed in Grandma Vicky’s', Grandpas Edward and George's name to give us electricity if nothing else. 

Yours Truly,
MAK Raja 


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