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Dajjal Super Highway

By: Hakim Hazik

This joint session of parliament resolves that the national sovereignty is supreme.

We are very grateful for the painstaking research undertaken by Professor Mad Hamid, the world renowned scholar of economics and the doyen of economics publications such as The Economist, the Far Eastern Economic Review and the Mad Magazine. He has quite clearly shown that the US owes us ninety billion dollars.

This negative balance of payments should be corrected immediately so that we can improve the long neglected infrastructure of the Judgment Day Industry which has been severely damaged by the NATO tankers. We can then start the long awaited battle of Ind from the launching pad of the blessed land of Fak-Ap.

As our main battle tanks roll down the Dajjal Super Highway, Prof Oriole Maqbool Jan will be at the head of the leading battle formation. The biggest tank battle since the siege of the GHQ will be fought and the learned professor will become the first Shaheed, as predicted in all the sacred books. He will by the grace of God be interred in the holy land of  Khurasan, blessed in all the prophecies and a personal favourite of the learned Professor, ever since he learnt to spell Trans Oxania on the knees of the elder statesman and historian, Naseem Hijazi.

The ground has already been prepared by Dr Aamir Hamaqat Husain (PhD, D.Litt from the Open University of Haspania, via correspondence course.) This outstanding scholar has spread the passion and fervour for Dajjal and James Bond, across the length and breadth of the country.

This house resolves that the drone attacks will no longer be permitted. Boots on the ground will not be permitted. Hot pursuit will definitely not be permitted, except by well nourished mullahs pursuing the 72 virgins. Boots on the political behinds will be permitted and will in fact be encouraged as they are approved of in all the holy books, starting from Legal Framework Order, revealed to the apostle of God, St. Mandible.

It is resolved in the national interest that the tendering of NATO traffic to private transporters is a breach of sovereignty. It is important that all the logistics are undertaken by the National Logistics Camel Train, the celebrated institution that still works in this country after the sad demise of the Pakistan Railways.

It is heartening to see the whole country coming together on this historic issue. We have put national honour and sovereignty before trips to Fort Leavenworth and won. It is now time to declare victory and nurture the dwindling bank accounts of blessed nomenklatura whom we all worship and from whom we seek succor in times of need.

Once president Obama wears sackcloth and does penance, a grave injustice will be corrected. Peace and harmony will return to the region and Islamic Rentier Republic will take the first steps towards economic recovery. It is true that the heady days of cold war will take some time to return, but the wheel of the economy will turn and the Field Marshall will go for a pilgrimage to Pentagon.

Allah be praised.


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