A Job for Shortcut:  

President No Clue (Jr.): Hi Shortcut, I am afraid, Citibank are in trouble because of the sub prime loans, and may not be able to have you back.  

(Fmr.) Prime Minister Shortcut: Surely you can’t let this happen, Mr. President, to an American who is doing his patriotic duty?  

P: I have to say Shortcut, the boys in Langley and the Sate Department had to work pretty damn hard to get you a Pakistani passport, a suitable life history that would stand up to the background checks and installing you in Islamabad. And what have we got in return? Rising anti-Americanism, the Taliban juggernaut ready to reach Kahuta in two weeks and the high value targets still at large. And now we have to find you another job.  

PM: That is not fair Mr. President. We were right on course by engaging with the moderate elements in Al-Qaeda. We were providing recording and editing facilities to Dr Zawahiri, in Pakistan TV, Islamabad, for his popular videos. We were providing free medical care to the rather large family of Al-Sheikh Bin Laden in PIMS.

We would have over a period of time isolated the extreme jihadis.  

P: And who are these extreme jihadis? 

PM: They are the Chaudhries of Gujrat, Mr. President. There is the big Chaudhry, who is deaf-mute and has advanced dyslexia and Parkinsonism, and speaks only through Morse Code and Mushahid Hussein. Although that does not make him any less devious or dangerous; but the real snake in the grass and the sworn enemy of liberal democracy is the Little Chaudhry. He has appointed his gangsters to the key posts in the Punjab, so that the province is about to turn into another Helmund or Al-Anbar province. The day he takes over as PM will be a catastrophe for the region.  

P: You have to see my predicament Shortcut. At the moment the job market is quite limited. There may be an opening in Iraq, if Maliki is assassinated, do you want us to work on an Iraqi passport? 

PM: I would rather that you worked on Little Chaudhry.  

P: You seem to have these Chaudhries everywhere. There is this highly destructive Judge Chaudhry, who rampaged through the country last summer, and then there is this Barrister Chaudhry, who is recruiting impressionable Americans, such as Mrs. Patterson to the global jihad. Is there nobody who can stop this endless spread of Chaudhry plague? 

PM: Yes there is Mr. President, Chaudhry Itchy Zafar of Jaranwala.