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The Fall of Geneva

By: Hakim Hazik

They had come in their serried legions, by air by sea and by land routes. Gathering dust and glory of arduous distances, hazarding innumerable perils including the incomparable risks of flying on the PIA’s Air Buses, recycled from the Lahore Omnibuses.

They gathered on Rue du Marche, led by the soldier statesman Syed Drone ul Ummat. Their hearts were filled with love for the True Faith. The earth shook with their slogans: O the oppressors give us an answer, give an account of the blood that was spilt. The walls of the city were covered with uplifting and pithy statements: Look ye people Qazi is coming.

When the din of the crowd settled somewhat the great leader took the stage and spoke thus:

Dear followers of Islam,

‘I know that your hearts are strengthened by unshakeable faith and you are ready to lay down your lives for the everlasting glory of the Ummah and the Caliphate. This, the greatest army since the valiant General Tariq bin Ziad, that has arrived on this continent.

We will teach the infernal Swiss, a lesson that they will never forget. They will learn not to interfere with the tenets of Islam and try to proscribe what is our fundamental right i.e to build the domes, arches, minarets and cupolas in accordance with our tradition and our culture. To put loudspeakers on the tallest minaret and make announcements at the highest decibel level to raise money for jihad in Palestine at 3 o’clock in the morning. We are not fighting for charity. We are fighting for basic human dignity.

We have a right to kill, on average, 6 labourers from FATA every day in Karachi. We have a right to pull off the buses, on average, 20 pilgrims and behead them by the roadside on a daily basis. We have a right to blow up the graven images in Bamian which the idol worshippers in UNESCO, in their crassness, had entitled a world heritage site.


The wave of Islam is sweeping across Europe. After we have taught a lesson to these infidels, we will go to the BNP Paribas and recover our sixty million dollars which these thieves have stolen from us and ask the Mr. Fournier to start proceedings immediately according to the instructions of the Supreme Court, in line with the dictates of Sharia.

We have shown great patience and forbearance. However, this patience is not limitless. These rogues have had sufficient warning. They had tried to infiltrate our ranks and tried to surreptitiously build a place of worship in Kharian, which the faithful mujahideen of Tahffuaz e-Islam have pulled down, according to the provision of the law and constitution. On the other hand, these Swiss have been thumbing their nose at the Supreme Court since 2008. We will give the last drop of our blood to uphold the honour of Islam and of Supreme Court.

Very soon Inshallah you will hear the azan recited on the most powerful loudspeakers (developed by SonyTM in accordance with the specifications of the True Faith), blasted across Lake Geneva and Mont Blanc, to fill the hearts of the faithful to the brim.

Very soon shuttle cock burqas will be compulsory in France. All the performers in Moulin Rouge will be rushing to buy their designer label abayas. The apostates will be beheaded in Wembley stadium in front of packed audiences and the banner of Islam will unfurl in Monte Carlo in all its glory.

Ours is the fastest spreading religion in the world.’




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