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The Full Monti

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik


All the stake holders must be asked. The Field Marshal is a stake holder. He has made great sacrifices in the line of duty. He drank three cups of tea with Admiral Mullen. That was no small feat of physical endurance and mental tenacity, for which our armed forces are rightly famous around the world.


He also made it very clear to the nation that sovereignty belongs to Allah and is given in small and measured portions to His chosen people to dispense they see fit. These pious people usually wear khaki and jackboots except when they swap them for sherwanis and Guccis when the nation is faced with extreme emergencies.


The Field Marshal intervened when those charlatans, Messrs. Kerry and Luger wanted to build hospitals and schools in the Islamic Republic, at the cost of our national sovereignty and our God given right to maintain a world class centre of learning at Muridke. When Kerry Sahib continued with his antics, that snake in the grass, promoter of Armani over khaki, the issuer of visas to Blackwater was ferreted out of his safe haven in Washington and held accountable for his misdeeds. 


The Field Marshal was also instrumental in the building of that remarkable national institution, the National Defense Council, the like of which have seldom been in seen in the contemporary societies. He brought together scholars of remarkable depth and learning who are by nature retiring and wary of public exposure, single mindedly pursuing the thorny topics of temporary marriages and the length of trousers allowed by sharia. He moulded them into a formidable intellectual forum which will be an asset to the Ummah, as long as the NATO traffic crosses Torkhum. 


The judiciary obviously has a stake as well. It has looked after the national interests at all times. It pursued the grave worshipping pretender to the post of the Prime Minister till he had to go back to the hole in Multan, he had come from. His criminal son was also arrested only because of the vigilance of the higher judiciary, other wise he would be swanning around on the constitutional avenue in his imported SUVs, stoned on ephedrine. 


The honourable Judge Sahib has set great personal examples. He tried his own son in the tradition of Hazrat Umar, before he let him off in the tradition of Nelson Mandela. It has to be said that at all times his code of conduct was exemplary and he was very aware of his place in history. 


It was therefore only natural that he protects the rights and privileges of the Supreme Court. It is out of the question that the registrar should appear before public accounts committee, comprising of upstart politicians with no mandate except votes purchased in a corrupt election, based on the wretched biradari system. In addition, it is obvious that they are neither sadiq nor amin and belong to families with questionable background.


Dr Arsalan, on the other hand was born in a family of sadiq and amin people, abiding by the laws of sharia and of necessity and fully compliant with articles 62 and 63. 


We, therefore, fully support the Shaikh ul Islam when he says that the stake holders are consulted. He is right in proposing the solution pioneered by the Islamic Republic of Italy. The public won’t be satisfied with any half measures. We want the Full Monti. (May Allah strengthen his hand).


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