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The Gold and the Steel

By Hakim Hazik 

Steelman; Dear Brother, let me put a mark on your forehead, with the ashes of the NAB, to ward off the evil eye. Fortune has favoured you. You have seen the coronation of Bilawal, won the elections, seen off the challenge by the pretender Amin Fahim and Judge Dogar is hoovering up the remaining cases. Every reason to be pleased Brother.  

Goldman: You have not done badly either, Brother. You have eventually returned from the exile. Clocked up enough air miles, in the process, to travel de luxe on several airlines. You have annihilated the Q League and mopped the floor with the Chaudhries. You are still alive and your syntax has improved.  No mean achievement Brother, I have to say.  

Steelman: I am sorry to bring it up Brother, not that I want to be prying, but what are we going to do about Judge Chaudhry?  

Goldman: He came to offer condolences for the soul of BB Sahiba. I dived behind the sofa, because Naek Sahib has told me to keep a low profile. He said it was not necessary. He had a steely glint in the eye Brother. I was unable to tell whether it was meant for me or Sherry Rehman, but it makes me very uneasy indeed.

Naek Sahib says to keep the BMW in the garage, not to keep any bank accounts and to keep all my savings in a sock. That is what I have been trying to do. It makes an awful big bulge Brother.  

Steelman: I would not worry too much about that. He may have the steely glint, but you will have the IG Islamabad, that will make all the difference at the end of the day. I think we should be more concerned about Tinman. He still has his finger on the Big Button. If he doses off and presses it even by mistake, we will all be history Brother. It would be much better to bring in Judge Chaudhry and let him square off with Tinman 

Goldman: I am pleased to inform you that I have seen to that issue. The wires to the Button are cut. I had confirmation from the GHQ, and from International Community. Our International Friends have fixed the Button, so that if it is pressed, there will be an awful racket, but no actual damage. Give it some time Brother, Tinman will wither on the vine.  

Tinman: (Chants in front of the Big Button with incense burning) Fiftyeight twobium, addendum octagonium, negro pontonium, anne pattersonium, kayanium golium, om shanti, shanti, shanti.

See also: Chaudhry Negroponte, Quaid-e-Tehrik Pizza Shop



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