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The Islamic Commonwealth of Khorasan

Extraordinary Rendition


By: Hakim Hazik

Dear Subjects,

It is with great pleasure that we welcome you to the establishment of the House of Islam, the Haven of Peace, the Caliphate of God and the State of all Muslims and people in covenant. This, my brothers, is the Holy Commonwealth of Khorasan.

The celebrations will continue for forty days in the seat of the Caliphate, the city blessed by the angels, the holy city of Miran Shah. Delegations of the faithful are arriving from all over the Ummah. There will be a prayer meeting every day in the Miran Shah stadium. Maulana Junaid Jamshaid will perform, reading his hymns about the unity of God. Nasheeds about the heroes of Islam will be discouraged as they smack of making partners with God and of idolatry.

Maulana Yusuf Islam Cat Stevens will lead a hymn concert after all Friday prayers, when the relatives of the victims of crime are given an opportunity to machine gun the convicts, in front of the cheering public. This will bring a much needed respite and entertainment into the lives of ordinary people who work hard in face of heavy odds to make a living. It will, of course, also demonstrate our commitment to speedy and transparent justice and rooting out of evil.

We are very pleased to welcome into the Commonwealth the faithful nations of Bactria, Gandhara, Taxila and Kashmir. We are also pleased to announce that we have entered into negotiations with the Trans-Ravian kingdom of Sharifistan. They have agreed to the status of a tribute paying vassal state at the moment. In due course they hope to join as full subjects and members of the Commonwealth.

Dear Subjects,

This is a great event in the history of the Ummah. Who could have thought that dream of the great visionary, Abdullah Said Al Libi, would become a reality one day. When this mighty stalwart had carved the map of Khorasan on the wall of a cave in Tora Bora, it seemed a distant and farfetched dream. The world has since seen a transformation in the fortunes of the Ummah. The infidels have eaten dust in the wilderness of Helmund and Kandahar. The American Satan has been defeated and has limped back home. The hated Durand Line has been wiped out.

There remains the tricky problem of the residents of the Kurram, Bamian and of Gilgit-Baltistan. Because of their peculiar beliefs based on heresy and denial of Truth, it will be difficult for them to become part of the new Commonwealth. The Ulema Shoora is in continuous session and God willing and order of execution will soon be issued, and the Commonwealth will be cleansed of their unwanted presence.

We are face to face with the lands of Ind and Sind, where the standard of Islam once flew. I can assure you dear Brothers, that evil and infamy can never be allowed to prosper. Very soon these lands will also be brought to heel; God willing.

Issued with the Seal of

Hazrat Jalal ud Din Haqqani

Emir of Khorasan

Caliph of Islam


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