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Three Strikes and You are Out

Extraordinary Rendition  

Hakim Hazik


Whilst the sleeper cells are sleeping during the day and watching Pakistan Ramzan during the night, our doughty warrior for democracy Syeda Shehla Raza has not been sitting idle. She has gone onto the national media, (currently operating on channel 539 in selected areas of the bloody civilian population) to bring to the public at large the details of the historic NRO.


It is now clear as daylight, that General Tinpot (SB) only stepped down after iron clad guarantees from Pesident Clueless that he would be given a decent retirement on a Texan ranch and that the bloody civilians will be allowed to play for three terms before the whistle is blown. 


We think it is time that the solemn international guarantees are honoured and the General re-united with his book royalties and his assorted poodles, on the holy land of the US of A, In the meanwhile, the politicians should make the best use of the limited time they have to stock up their Swiss accounts. 


The NRO was a historic document. It ushered in an era of democracy in the Republic. It allowed the exiled national political leaders to return to their homeland, so that they could be fired upon by our national strategic assets, who in turn could be fired upon by our international friends and achieve martyrdom. That, of course, is the collective mission of the Ummah and the fervent dream of every faithful citizen. 


It also led to an election and the strengthening of the civil society so that we can develop the Defence of Pakistan bill and keep people in detention without trial, without having to dump their broken bodies in public places. This would not have been possible without the foresight and wisdom of devoted and selfless public servants, headed by the legendary Field Marshal Kayani. May Allah give him the best of rewards. 


Democracy, without a firm guiding hand can turn into anarchy. Therefore it is vital, that the newspaper vans are burnt from time to time and the cable operators are bombed, to send a clear and unequivocal message to the enemies of the Republic. We should make it clear that our guardians are vigilant and that the defence of the nation is in safe hands. There are islands of peace in shape of Defence Housing Societies where the vicious anti state propaganda from the likes of  Geo TV is not allowed and the audience can soak up the benedictions of Ramzan from many patriotic channels, by the grace of God. 


A lot of water has flown down the Hudson, since the Shriek Chairman last visited his Manhattan apartment. Brother Haqqani has gone back to teaching and Brother Mansoor Ijaz has gone back to female wrestling. The strategic interests of the two nations are still linked together. The Shriek Chairman will invite the Vice President into the fold of Islam and the Vice President will no doubt confirm his belief that our strategic assets are in safe hands. 


May Allah (SWT) bless them both. 



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