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The Surge and the Purge

Transcultural Dialogues IV 



Chaudhry Mumble Hussein: Good news, the preparations for the International Bootlicker’s Conference are now complete, we had positive confirmation so far from the brother republics of Burma and Congo, do you have any special guests? 

Chaudhry Ambition Ilahi: I have just been to see General Shiny Boots Kiyani.  I have to see I have seldom come across with someone, with such deep  understanding of  national and international affairs, and we discussed issues such as Unity of Command, which is of  utmost importance at this critical juncture of our history. I told  him that the people expect him to his national duty, and take over the administration as president, if things do not  improve rapidly. We will support him 10 times or more, as long as  he is in uniform.


Ch. Mumble: Whilst you have been breathing the GHQ air, we had some difficulty in dealing with some American Taliban infiltrators, with the code name of Codepink. They were trying to join the Al-Qaeda chapter that Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi, is operating from Aitazaz Ahsan’s residence. I   am pleased though, that our Elite Force have acquitted themselves with honour, they sprang on them after tracking them down with the satellite positioning, and surveillance drones, and put them on the flight to the JFK, before they could say 58-2b. Mr. Hunt says, they will feel the full force of justice under the Patriot Act for their anti-American activities. 

Ch. Ambition: I discussed the regional perspective with Shiny Boots, he mentioned a technique called ‘Surge’ which has brought things under control in Sadr City, in Baghdad. The army units go in, destroy the enemy and then stay in to protect the local residents, and prevent return of insurgents. Shiny boots  said that they have employed a similar technique, called the  ‘Purge’, our crack commandos go to the Supreme Court, liquidate the nasty judges, and they stay on to give confidence to the peace loving judges, so that they can give unbiased decisions, without fear or favour..  

Ch. Mumble: I agree, this may be a good  policy at the provincial level as  well, although the dangerous  judges are still  holed  up in their residences, which will  have to be liberated from their occupation, by sustained and steadfast military action. I am pleased though that the new judges in support of democracy have used their powers to authorize actions against the reckless arsonists, who disguise themselves by holding candle-lit vigils outside these residences.  

Ch. Ambition: Actually I have met with Mrs. Patterson as well. She assured me that her Government is in complete support of the electoral process and is impressed with the desire and courage of the Pakistani people, who have made great sacrifices for democracy. To promote democracy, she has offered assistance to raise the standards of Attock and Mianwali to the level of Abu Gharaib and Bagram.  

Ch. Mumble: I think with such good governance, we are justified in going to the electorate and ask for their votes on the basis of our performance.

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