Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

Most respectfully I beg to submit my apology to the esteemed Supreme Court of Pakistan. I am sorry that I was not able to come up with the name of the first chapter in the Holy Book. I now know that it is the Objective’s Resolution.

 I am additionally sorry that I was not able to recite the holy verse to the satisfaction of the court. I have now learnt that it is the oath of allegiance to the Law of Necessity which this Holy Court has sanctified, as it beatified the great saints to have held the reigns of our government and our faith, the Martyr General Zia ul Haq and the Ghazi General Pervez Musharraf.

These great saints lived and died in the name of the only force that controls and runs the universe, shapes the lives and hereafter of all living beings, the force to whom we have to give an account of our deeds, in this world and the other, once we have shed the mortal coil. Verily we worship this Great Being and ask sustenance and support from it. It is and always will be the blessed United States of America.

I submit your honour, that I recognize the importance of education for the masses. It is important to educate our people, so that they can tell good from evil separate chaff from grain. If we have to live and survive as a nation, it is vitally important that we salute all those rulers who are strong in their faith and unwavering in their courage, as they take over the government to make it progressive, just and God fearing. Who, in spite of adversity with which God tests the people he holds dear, and privations, which are the fate of all those who uphold truth and justice, remain committed to the holy Free Market.

Your Lordships,

As people die in streets of hunger, disease and inflation, they can breathe their last, satisfied that their sacrifices have not been in vain. Having already sold their children, they lie happily in the depths of their graves, content in the knowledge that their great nation has acquired strategic depth in Afghanistan, the latest submarines from France, and a soft image abroad. (It may be the soft depth in Afghanistan and a strategic image abroad. I hope the honourable court will indulge me if I am mistaken, as in the past).

Honourable Members of the Bench,

A university degree is a fundamental human right. I would like to pay tribute to the Higher Education Commission, as they now issue a charter to open a university to all those educationists who can demonstrate their academic commitment by possessing a box of paint and the ability to spell ‘university’.

It would be appropriate if the court were to order the grant of an honorary doctorate degree to the public intellectuals who have immensely enriched our political discourse by their priceless academic contribution to our society. These include, among others, Rana Sana Ullah, Maulana Masood Azhar and the late Baitullah Mehsud.

We are entering a new age of enlightenment.

I thank your lordships for your forbearance

Jamshed Ahmed Dasti

MNA

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