Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazi

The Almighty has spoken. Never since the beginning of the universe has He spoken in such clear terms. He called all the angels and the archangels, secretaries and deputy secretaries, qasids and naib qasids and said that the dam be built. All should bow in submission to this Being created out of mud, the vicegerent of the Almighty and given supremacy over all Creation. Those who refuse and rebel will fall from favour and be driven from power, as the Almighty giveth power and it is his to take away.

It so came to pass that the Works Department raised objections. It used to be the norm that what was said was done. The Almighty would say ‘Be’ and it was. No longer. There was a prolonged cat fight among the archangels so that many of them ended up fallen from grace and required medical attention. It used to be that the Almighty would walk on water, especially on dammed up water stolen from the lower riparian. No longer. It was prohibited by the Council of Common Interests as being against the celestial harmony and the 18th amendment.

And so it came to pass that the dam became like the head of the Cheshire cat. The Almighty ordered the TTP that it should be beheaded. The TTP said that it can’t be because it does not have a body. The Almighty wailed and gnashed His teeth and insisted it can be, as it has a head. The CCI said that would be against the 19th amendment. And that was that.

There was, lurking in the Garden of Eden Housing Society, the One with No Name. He adopted the name of Shamsul Mulk and visited Justice Bindial in his dream. The Justice woke up strangely elated. He felt that life had a meaning and a purpose. He made it the aim of his life to allow the pure power generated from pure water to course through the network of high tension wires and be delivered to the Creation, through the unique and matchless kunda system favoured of the Almighty and the archangels.

And it was written that a thousand flowers will bloom in the upper riparian and the mangroves will wither and no birds will sing on the Arabian Sea coast. The blind dolphin will be scooped out of water and nurtured with compassion and with care in the Dubai aquarium where school children will come to watch as they eat their packed lunch and draw its image with crayons and be given gold stars by their Irish teacher.

It is also written that the children from Goths will leave their fishing villages and learn to ride and become world class camel jockeys. They will also travel to Dubai where they will compete in the International Camel Derby to the delight of the audience in their kafiyahs and their wide brimmed hats. The whole world will see their expertise as they shriek with terror bound to the camel backs, and as those wondrous images are beamed around the planet via satellite.