Letter to Brother Abdullah

Hakim Hazik

Dear Brother Abdullah,

Virtue is consolidating its hold in the Republic and vice is on retreat. Brother Tinpot is also in retreat. He has defied the Islamic court in Islamabad and has made good his escape with the help of his vassals in a Nissan off-roader. He has escaped to Chak Shahzad, where he has dug himself in and raised the banner of rebellion.

Dear Brother, 

Whoever rebels against God must face the full force of the Ummah and of the soldiers of the Ummah, the French commandos. Be it Tinpot or be it Juhayman al Otaybi, should not make any difference. Accompanied by the soldiers of the Ummah, the returning officers, across the length and breadth of the country and the wukala of the bar association will surround Chak Shahzad and will bring Tinpot to the court in an orange jump suit.  

O Pillar of the Ummah,

Yours Truly is worried about the dangers to Islam that are lurking in every corner in that seat of infamy, Islamabad. There are many people who want to undermine the rule of the righteous and do no want to see Your Brother becoming the fifth rightly guided caliph of Islam, (pending elections and a  constitutional amendment). These mischief makers are creating these diversions, so that the metro bus of the sharia careens of its prescribed path and the Ummah is left in doldrums. No such plan of these munafiqeen and mushrikeen will be allowed to succeed. 

Instead, Shahbaz Sahib, the hawk eyed servitor of the Punjab emirate, will foil any attempts by the Otaybi of Ontario or of Chak Shahzad to stand in the way of sharia. We will march forward in unison, with inspiring leaders of the Ummah such as Maulana Ludhianvi and Malik Mumtaz Qadri to achieve the ideal that our forefathers had laid down their lives for and that Abbaji had dreamed of. 

O the shadow of the Almighty on earth, and the guardian of the house of the Almighty,

Brother Imran is causing problems. He does not have the maturity and understanding that comes with experience of exile and imprisonment by the infidels. Brother Raymond Davis was released under the injunctions of Islam, after paying diyat to families. It was Brother Pasha who was ensured that justice is done and that the will of Allah prevails, by sticking his pious and righteous handgun in the ribs of the session judge. As Your Majesty will recall, the riyals came from the treasury of the Holy Kingdom. I think Brother Imran should keep his mouth shut and submit to the will of Allah. 

Once your brother sits on the throne of the caliphate and wears the crown of sharia on his head, he will talk to Brother Obama, as he has talked to Brother Clinton in the past. We have drones of our own which cause greater damage than the drones fired by Brother Panetta. Your brother will be quite happy to exchange technology where Brother Panetta can have Rana Sana Ullah, if we can have the Predators. 

Your bhabi gives profound salam,

MMN Sharif

PML(N)