Dear danny zens of Lahore shpecially zens, I am writing your faram the durbar of Lahore with Shriek Chairman sitting on the takht of Lahore. As always, I am spoating him. I am the most impatant mimber af his paty. I carry the weight af the hole paty on my strang shoulders. I share the burdens af his leadership by carrying them myself. This brings a smile to the face of the Shriek Chairman and sometimes tears to his eyes

We all know that Shriek Chairman has cankered Lahore. Lahore has nat been cankered since the time af Lat Saab, Lat Dalhousie and before that Maharaja Ranjit Singh Sahib. They did it by the force of arams. Shriek chairman has done it by force af his barathers, like yours taruly.

As you all know, Shbazsab has become a goat. He suddenly remembered that he had an urgent piece af work in Astamboal. Miansab has become a goat as well. Ha Bakri.

Af course your barather knows the story af inside. I beg to satate sir ji, most respectfully and through praper channel, there is no work shirk. There is nothing urgent shurgent. This is all topi darama. This is application af saliva. This is putting Shan^© chilli poder in your eyes. (freshly prepared to the best satandards)

Ok, Ok, Bhabi Kalsum may be ill but why is it sir ji that her illness is at the same to same time all the time? Is this all by chanus? If you ask me sir ji this is goat palitics. This is journaily palitics. This is nat the open palitics af Pakistan Peepal Paty. This is the night time palitics af Choinisaar.

I hear you saying that the Shriek Chairman also used to send medical safticates. True. But sir ji, have you stopped far a mint to think the difference in sichuation? The Shriek Chairman was in New Yarak at that time (Main Hutton). He was being fallowed by the International Sensitive gency. Would this nat make you mentally ill? Would you want to go to Geneva Airport to be sniffed over by the Doberman Pentshirts af Sweezerland Pulas?

The Shriek Chairman has said that there is a shadow af the pen and af the byanet. You don’t gree? Don’t be a choocha sir ji. Are you deaf? Do you have no eyes? Can you nat hear the marching songs they sing in the Core Commander’ meetings? Can you nat see journalists having fits who only stop after being allowed to sniff  the fauji boot? I want to tell Choinisaar. Don’t be too pleased with yourself sir ji. If you cantinue your night time palitics, very soon the boot will be an the other foot. 

I have seen Shahi Qila and I have seen the Shahi Durbars. I have spoated damo cracy and had my battom spoated in a sling. I am telling you naoo so don’t complain later aan.

Journals and journalists, I will nat spoat.

Choochas and goats, I will nat spoat.

Lang Live Peepal Paty

 For more letters from Jahangir Badar click here

Tuzk e Jehangiri

By: Hakim Hazik