Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

As the fifth columnists and fellow travelers and online journalists are identified and eliminated one by one by the International Sensitive Agency in a sensitive and humane manner, there is one question that comes up again and again. This is the major question facing the Ummah today. Is Ijaz Butt circumcised? There are other questions such as: Is he actually Ijaz Butt? We do not give credence to the rumours that he is actually Abida Parveen in drag.

The Ummah had not recovered from the setback of Mehran Base, when it has been struck by another catastrophe of Fukushima proportions. The totally infidel and completely uncircumcised PCB has launched a Bombay style attack on Shahid Khan Afridi, the greatest defender of the Faith and pillar of the Ummah, at the behest of unscrutinised visa holders in North Waziristan. There is a planned attack on our cricket team and other sensitive institutions by the world powers, including Blackwater, RAW and Ijaz Butt. 

That is the reason that the Field Marshall wants the head of the Washington Lad on a platter. He has been issuing visas without asking the all knowing, all mighty Sensitive Agency. This will not stand. Nobody can be allowed to undermine our national security, except our security agencies. All those who want to come to Pakistan are welcome, but the must respect our laws and traditions. They must either come with a proper visa as decided by the Agency, or in a Stealth helicopter during the early hours of the morning. They can also come in exchange of infidel hostages, this was the course adopted by Al-Sheikh Omar Saeed, the saviour of the Ummah and hero of the Qandahar flight. That is why he remains the emeritus guest of honour at the state guest house.  

There has been an increasing international recognition of the performance of the Agency. It has been firmly established by prestigious websites run by the establishment that ours is the best establishment in the world. The Agency has achieved the kind of professional supremacy that the Langley Company can only dream of. 

In the world of covert action, Aabpara reigns supreme. It is the nerve centre of the Ummah and a scourge for the enemies of Islam. It has repeatedly foiled conspiracies hatched against the True Faith, from all the malicious regional powers, especially those in Islamabad. We have to be thankful for these few good men who are ever vigilant to pick up saboteurs like Salim Shehzad and Hayatullah Khan and neutralize them before they can cause major damage. 

It has been clearly stated by Headley Sahib, son of the soil and hero of the Ummah, that the top leadership of the Agency was not involved. This has vindicated the long standing position of the Agency. The top leadership has never been involved. Actually that is the secret of its success. The top leadership has actively encouraged an entrepreneurial spirit among the juniour leadership such as Major Aamir and Major Kasab to strike terror into the heart of the infidels. 

The results are there for all to see.