Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

I have covered my head, carefully concealed my skin exposure, folded my hands and visited the shrines of Great Sufi saints including Hazrat Bari Imam, Hazrat Allama Iqbal and Hazrat Ashfaq Pervez Kayani.

Our two nations need one another. We need to increase the people to people contact. Next time I am in town, I will go camping with Maulana Munawwar Hasan, Maulana Masud Azhar and Usama Bin Laden. I had a trip of a lifetime in this lovely country. I hope this will be the beginning of a long lasting and fond relationship with this marvellous nation.

Bari Imam was a great saint. He spent 12 years in a chilla. For those unfamiliar, I should mention that this means quiet meditation to make contact with the cosmic reality. Women are thought to be unworthy to enter the mausoleum of the great saint. For those who can submit their tribute to the shrine in dollars, temporary privilege of manhood is available. I am please to say that I was shown this kindness.

Hazrat Kayani is saint in the same holy mystic tradition. Hazrat Mullen has spoken of him as a gentle and kindly man who has a plan. He is very quietly spoken. Actually he came out of his chilla of 12 years to speak for the first time in the Corps Commander Conference against the Kerry-Lugar Bill. The great saint has called it an anathema, as it takes Lord’s and Army’s name in vain. It tries to equate the intrepid soldiers of Hazrat Sahib with useless civilians, who everyone knows are worse than animals.

This was sure to attract the wrath of God and opprobrium from Hazrat Sahib, which can only be propitiated with un-audited dollars. I am pleased to report that I was allowed to make such an offering at his shrine at the GHQ. It has gone a long way in saving my unworthy soul. His doors and automated swing barriers are always open to the repentant sinners who wish to pay for atonement of their transgressions in a spirit of humility and reconciliation and in the right currency.

I must warn that it is still too early for an unrestrained dhamaal yet. There is the small matter of National Reconciliation Ordinance. Tareeqah orders too have their code of conduct. Hazrat Sahib’s acolytes, the bearers of his blessed shoes, Brother Zardari and Brother Rehman Malik have overstepped their limits. There are several sojourns in the Sufi path, which the uninitiated can mistake for the final destination. They need to come out of their takyas, wear sackcloth, put ash in their heads. Only thus Ashfaq and Allah will listen and forgive.

One must never arouse the ire of Sufi saints. It is also called jalal. When challenged into this state of mind, some saints of bygone years are known to have caused the offenders to disappear in a puff of smoke. One must ask God’s forgiveness with a pure heart, cleansed of all temptations of the civil office, holding the khaki hem of Hazrat Sahib. This is my advice to Brother Zardari and to the sister Sufi nation of Pakistan. A thermonuclear jalal is best avoided in first stages of the True Tareeqah Path.

Jeevay Sakhi Jhooley Lal.

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