Extraordinary Rendition
Hakim Hazik
All are welcome to visit our brand new facility at the Constitution Avenue. We provide caretaker prime ministers, interim government leaders, technocrats and religious leaders at very competitive rates.
All our personnel come with a warrantee of a minimum of ninety days which can be extended to eleven years for a small monthly amount. (Terms and conditions apply, see the registrar Supreme Court for a detailed plan, customised to your needs).
If you already have carried out a coup d’Etas, or have your candidate in place, it is not too late. Please see our Morning-After package for details. (Previously called the Law of Necessity package.)
If your candidate has fallen foul of the articles 62-63 or of the Dual Nationality Law, a remedy can be found. Please see our Speedy Rehab plan for details. (Previously called the Halala package.)
This may include a six week intensive programme to learn the Ayat ul Kursi at Jamia Faridia International University. For the unlettered candidates, one to one oral instruction is available without any documentation, from our corporate partners, Arsalan-Riaz Associates. At the end of this intensive course, your candidate will fly through the requirements of reciting the selected suras in front of the most learned, pious and bewigged audience of the land and be able to maintain his parliamentary seat, without recourse to a by-election.
We have extensive experience in working in close co-operation with the national and international partners including the Jackboot AssociatesTM and the IMF. We have shown our outstanding expertise in recruiting abroad, including in Washington (DC) and in Riyadh (KSA).
If you are a candidate yourself, looking for relocation, please contact us. We can guarantee outstanding solutions on very agreeable terms. Arrangements will be made for a parachute on arrival and a second passport and an airlift will be guaranteed on exit. Candidates currently working in the World Bank, please take note.
If you have the misfortune of belonging to a political party whose leader is about to be executed, don’t lose heart. Despondency is a sin. Please defect as soon as possible and ask for asylum in the Registrar’s office. We will provide accommodation, shelter and a whistle under the Whistle Blower’s Protection Programme.
As every one knows that the international paradigm is changing. It is no longer possible in the current economic climate to find an appropriate Caretaker Solution on the lines of the fin the siecle. The success of newer, more modern regimes in our neighbourhood, especially Bangladesh speak for themselves.
We have to pull ourselves up by the jackboot straps. We have to overcome the infighting among the petty politicians as we overcame the war of the Begums in our neighbourhood. A shiny future beckons, full of promise and prosperity. We must act now, other wise we will be marooned in the wilderness for another five years, as the rapacious politicians deplete the national resources without regard for the stakeholders.
IM Chaudhry
CEO
Stakeholders AssociatesTM
Bangladesh Model