Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

From Khyber to Karachi and from Wahga to Naukundi, the lovers of the faith and of the blasphemy law came out in force. Armed with nothing, except superior logic, compassion for humanity and raw courage, they have shown the world their commitment to peace and justice. Peace in the world can only be achieved if all blasphemers are slaughtered one by one.

The leaders of this unprecedented mass movement have honed their skills in logical debate and modern philosophy in the great repositories of enlightenment, the Deobandi madrassas, which have come to dominate the country’s educational landscape. As a result the country has taken great strides towards world leadership in mass murder.

It is heartening to see the religious parties coming together once again, after a long period of rift and discord. The doyen of the Islamic renaissance in Pakistan, Maulana Fazlur Rehman has made it clear to the godless authorities of Islamabad, his contempt for their misguided attempts to temper with the fundamental tenets of our ideology, foremost among them the right of the faithful to disembowel the infidel. Maulana’s understanding of Islamic jurisprudence, his love of pristine ideology, refined petrochemicals, and army real estate are stuff of the legend. The country is blessed to have visionaries like him in the frontline political leadership.

One should not forget the contributions of scholars like Mufti Muneeb ur Rehman. Apart from bringing us the joys of Eid by the timely sighting of the moon, drawing upon the God given resources of the PIA and the PTCL, he has campaigned tirelessly to drag vile creatures like Aasia Bibi to the gallows, for the greater public good. This will teach her and others of her ilk, never to question the wisdom of our faith or the challenge the slavery in brick kilns as outlined in our faith. After she is executed for the greater glory of ideology, her five children can be sold, for a fair price, to the pious owner of the brick kiln, so that they grow up to be useful, upright and honest citizens, knowing their place in the society and submitting to the will of God.    

One should not forget to pay kudos to the Shaikh of the Ummah and the Drone of Islam, Maulana Thunderbird of Karachi, who has not left any stone unturned to bring the daughter of Islam Dr Aafia Bibi back home while campaigning for Ms Aasia Bibi to be put to death and every American infidel to be beheaded.

We find the attempts of Sherry Rehman to re-engineer our society reprehensible and abhorrent. We condemn such efforts in the strongest possible terms. We welcome the freedom of expression, but it should not the freedom to cross the bounds of decency. Her name is an anathema. Nobody in the Islamic Republic of Pakistan should be named after an alcoholic drink.

We demand that she change her name, forthwith, to Rooh Afza.

More articles by Hakim Hazik