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The Ministry of Live Burials

Transcultural Dialogues

By: Hakim Hazik 

Citizen: I must be going blind doctor. Everybody tells me that the society has changed since 18th of February. Dictatorship has been banished for ever from the Land of the Pure. The will of the people reigns supreme. I can not see any difference doctor. Please help.  

Dr BA: Have you seen an eye specialist? 

Citizen: I have seen a doctor, who assures me that he did not buy his degree from a fake university through a correspondence course. He tells me that I have a 20/20 vision.  

Dr BA: Ah, there is where you have gone wrong. You need a 55/55 vision like your government. That is the number of ministers we have appointed, to serve democracy and to serve our people.  

Citizen: Fifty five ministers doctor ji? But the previous government had more. I still can not see the difference.  

Dr BA: The difference is in the quality of manpower. Take the Ministry of Live Burials, headed by Minister Poison. Now this fine minister has served democracy in his constituency like no one else, before or since. He promotes shooting those people, especially females, who harbour anti democratic designs, burying them in shallow graves and ploughing them over with the help of locally manufactured tractors, so as to minimise any environmental damage, and to promote local industry. We take our civic responsibilities seriously.   

Citizen: Burying women alive will promote democracy doctor ji? 

Dr BA: Only those women who nurture anti democratic feelings. You should see our Ministry of Karo Kari. No, no, don’t jump to conclusions. The Ministry of Karo Kari has nothing to do with chicken curry. This ministry is headed by Minister One Thousand Excuses. He is the Cambridge educated suave minister who sold into slavery 5 girls to promote democracy into his largely conservative community.  He was brought to the thoroughly disgraced former chief justice in handcuffs where he gave him the dodge and escaped the police custody exhibiting the pizzazz and flare; we admire so much and need so much in our new democracy.  

Citizen: The economy is in dire straits doctor ji. This is what seems to be different from the previous dictatorial government.  

Dr BA: This is the result of the global economic crisis. It is important that patriotic Pakistanis should bring their money back from abroad, so that we can confiscate it to serve the nation. I can assure you that the President will bank this money under his own name in offshore holding companies and invest in real estate abroad, to keep the international banking system from collapsing. Our government could make another gift of 60 million dollars to city government of Geneva to show our solidarity in these difficult times.  

Citizen: Thank you minister. I can see things clearly now. I am cured. Hallelujah.                                                                                       


Dr Babar Awan's fake degree 

Live burials

Senator Zehri statement on live buruials 

Vani case             

More articles by Hakim Hazik


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