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Umar Media Presents

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik


Attock has always been a seat of power for the leaders who have shaped the destiny of the Ummah, including Sher Shah of Sur, Hari Singh of Nalwa and Mumtaz Qadri of Sabzi Mandi. Lately, the famous scion of the Durrani dynasty, Brother Brother of Qandahar has held court there. This fort has become the centre of international attention as sundry diplomats and emissaries from all corners of the world are queueing up to pay obeisance and kiss the signet ring of the Caliph designate, may Allah SWT sustain his presence.


Brother Brother was on a peace mission to the troubled metropolis of Karachi in 2010 when he was invited by the International Sensitive Agency to take some well deserved R&R in a basement in Aabpara and thence to Attock, the gateway to Khurasan and to the Caliphate. 


As our readers will know, that Bother Brother left Afghanistan in 2001 with Brother Mohammad Omar riding pillion on a motor bike, in the wake of the infidel invasion by the Northern Alliance. He became the Director General of Military Operations of the Caliphate in Exile, known across the world as Quetta Shura. During the golden age of the history of Afghanistan from 1996 to 2001, the two leaders were responsible for establishing the rule of sharia and of peace in the length and breadth of the country. 


They started off by executing the enemies of Islam lurking in the Iranian mission in Mazar e Sharif in the garb of diplomats. During this renaissance of the Ummah these stalwarts dynamited the Bamian Buddhas which was the greatest blow ever struck against idolatry since the destruction of Somnat, a thousand years ago. 


The peace and prosperity of the people of Afghanistan and the freedoms enjoyed by them were brought to an abrupt end in 2001, when the Elders of Zion came to Kabul in B-52 bombers and brought the gift of Daisy Cutters.  


A lot of water has flown under the Attock Bridge since then. A delegation is making its way to Brother Brother to negotiate the terms of surrender. It is likely that the terms will be signed in the presence of luminaries such as Brother Fazlullah, Brother Khan Said aka Sajna and Brother Ishaq Malik; all veterans of various victorious missions to spread the message of peace across the Caliphate. 


Umar Media will have the exclusive rights to air the proceedings live, via Samsung Galaxy Ace 2 (SIM Free). Senator Kerry is arriving in Islamabad. It is expected that Ms. Siddiqi will arrive on the same flight to be re-united with her suicide jacket. Brother Karzai has been promised a safe exit. A burqa has been requisitioned from Maulana Abdul Aziz. 


These are exciting times for the Ummah. Two super powers have been defeated by the forces of Islam in less than three decades. The Caliphate is poised to take over Kabul and Islamabad in near future. This will provide a sound basis for Ghazwa e Hind to start. Inshallah. 



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