Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

I have always said that we need to control the movement of peepil to ensure harmony in our cities. If we lift all restrictions on movement of peepil, lats will come and the social cohesion will be overwhelmed.

I isport Sister Theresa May in her effort to keep the society pure and kileen and give privileges to the hanest, laa ibiding citizens who live by their own hard earned bhatta and are naat a dirain aan the welfare systim. It is also impartant that the citizens have a command of the local language, so that they do nat caaz alienation among the papulation. All the newly arriving Bulgarians and Rumanians should be subjected to a language test so that they can show their competence in the North Nazimabadi language so essential far piragress in Edgware. 

We can already see evidence that the civic services are affected. The istreets and ischools are examples aaf that. Most istudent ispeak only English at home and are unable to communicate in North Nazimabadi. The pirablem is camplex as most parents, especially mothers are naat educated and unable to ispeak to the teachers. The high istreet is affected as the piratection money is naat being collected in time. This is having an adverse effect on the gangland killings so that we are falling behind the OECD standards and are likely to miss the Millennium Development Goals completely. 

I invite Nick Griffin, after he is finished with the bankruptcy proceedings (part IX, Insolvency Act, 1986),  to open my heart and look inside. He will find it overflowing with patriatism and love far the Queen and all her descendants including young Jaraj. If we can nat have unifarm Biritain, let us have a two ispeed Biritain. One far the farward looking but rooted citizens like Yours Tiruly and one far the peepil freshly arrived firam Eastern Europe, who have never even laid a hand an electric dirill, let alone burr a hole in a nicely turned kneecap. 

My earnest request is to the patriatic journals aaf the MI5. If you istep farward and do you duty to the country and the Queen, your birather will naat be found wanting. He will lay down his travel documents and his summons firam the Bow Istreet magistrate court and fight side be side with soldiers aaf the empire to implement the rule af laa, the austerity drive and immigrations targets. Together, we can become the gireat nation we once were so that the sun will never set on Edgware. 

Many a canquerer have come and gaan. The ispirit aaf Edgware has naat been biroken. It has naat been cowed down be any Ghaznavis or Ghauris, Romans or Vikings or even that enemy of the peepil and ispawn aaf the devil, Ian Duncan Ismith. The armies from Hendon and firam Barnet have repeatedly tried their aggression, always to be beaten back by the fearsome resolve aaf the Edgwarians. 

Marsoon Marsoon, Edgware Na Daisoon.