Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

Large amounts of political literature were ceased in Turbat. It exemplifies the mortal threat faced by the country as the enemy has infiltrated our premier educational institutions and are brainwashing our youth, making them read biographies of historic personalities. Sources close to Viewpoint have revealed on conditions of anonymity, that large amounts of IQ were also ceased in Ata Shad Degree College. These were immediately destroyed to protect the innocent and to guard the integrity of the country.

The FC raiding party have been deeply affected by the explicit nature of the scene of the crime. Many of them had never seen a book before and are therefore deeply traumatised by this harrowing experience. The FC spokesman. Col. Haasay Khan has said that special teams have been flown in to provide counselling and the families of the affected personnel have been informed. He reiterated the resolve of the armed forces that they are determined, in the interest of the nation to remain steadfast and illiterate. 

Seasoned political commentators are of the view that this is not an isolated incident. There seems to a pattern emerging to these violations of our sovereignty. The infamous duo, Kerry and Luger have been seen lurking near the Makran coast in suspicious looking rowboats. There have been many primary schools opened by NGOs in remote locations in the province. Highly subversive nursery rhymes with violent themes are being taught to the children, so that they grow up alienated from our proud heritage of illiteracy. 

There are instances where medical doctors have wantonly started treating patients with medication. This is deeply worrying to all patriotic circles, as never before in the history of the province people have got better, once ill. This seems to be a serious infraction of our national honour and blatant interference in the will of Allah SWT. 

General Haasay was also available to comment on the so called disappeared persons. He said this is a conspiracy by those who are working against the interests of Pakistan and refuse to eat Fauji Corn Flakes. These so called disappeared people never existed in the first place. Mama Qadeer is a stooge of the enemy whose real name is Sushmita Sen. He was offered a taxi on taxpayers expense, but he insists on walking unsafe distances creating law and order situations. Secondly, he does not exist and this is propaganda by Narendra Modi to defame Pakistan. 

He defended the FC’s kill and dump policy and said that this was in the interests of the nation and is yielding the right results. ‘We have completed killing the university professors, as they have been the root cause of spreading education in the province, and thus corrupting our youth. We have now started the next phase of our operations where we will concentrate on children below ten years of age.’

He cited the example of the famous terrorist, the eight years old Chaker Khan, who was eliminated by a crack squad of the FC, using state of the art stealth technology. It is thought that many dangerous terrorists in the same age group are still at large. Many of them have been spotted reading subversive literature such as Winnie the Pooh. He has warned the public to be vigilant and not to approach such terrorists but to inform the FC at the local enhanced interrogation centres. 

This war is not our war.