Extraordinary Rendition

By Hakim Hazik 

Dear Parliamentarians,

It is nice to be able to speak to you in the cold light of the day, in these plush surroundings and not in the dead of the night in your bedrooms. Conversation is always of better quality, when people are wearing their suits, waist coats and dentures and do not have a hand gun shoved down their throats. I should point out that the option of talking to you in the Sihala rest house before a judicial murder is still available to us and may be used from time to time. The appropriate facilities and personnel are in place.  

I should point out that the presentation you are about to see is for your eyes only. You must not communicate it to any one else, including your spouses, partners, pay masters of any nationality, bankers of any nationality, your physicians or even  psychiatrists. I would request the honourable members to switch off their mobile phones.  I would like to request the honourable members of the CIA to switch off their listening devices. I would request the agents of the brotherly countries of Israel, China, Iran and Saudi Arabia to do the same. A transcript will be made available to your respective employers.  

Dear Elected Representatives,

Pakistan is fighting the war of its survival. Over the years fine young men have laid down their lives so that the country can be safe and the nation can make progress. Men like. Aziz Bhatti, Rashid Minhas and Lalak Jan have given the ultimate sacrifice so that men like Mansur ul Haq, Zarrar Azim, Fazlur Rehman and Hamid Dogar can prosper and take the nation to the heights of glory hitherto unseen. As you will all agree, these sacrifices have not been in vain.  

For a very long time, the Armed Forces have undertaken an epic struggle against the Brahminic imperialism. For this we had to milk resources from the American imperialists and use them when their backs were turned. We had to fight communism, as we did against Russia and we had to make friends with communism, as we did with China. We had to support the Islamists, as we did in Afghanistan, and we had to kill them as we are doing in Bajaur. The tactics of war have changed from time to time. The overarching vision and strategy has not changed. The two fundamental principals that guide us have remained the same. They are: Jihad and real estate. One for the sake of the other.  

The results are most gratifying and there for all to see. The gleaming villas in Defence Colonies, the farm houses, the golf courses are everlasting national treasures; as are the factories, the banks the apartments, the trusts and the foundations. This policy has paid for the sleek Augusta submarines and the thundering F16 aircrafts. This has brought the thermonuclear revolution, so that we can vaporise Chagai or any other natural or man made structure. The sacrifices made by this great nation have been worthwhile.  

To the people who are selling their children in the streets, my message is simple: get a good price. Our motto is and will remain: Faith, Piety and Jihad for the cause of God     

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