Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

The day was a landmark in the history of the nation. The supremacy of the law of sharia was established and thus the dream of the father of the nation, General Mustache ul Haq came to fruition. The forces of darkness retreated and the rule of law and the renaissance of Islam was born.

Ghazi Raymod Davis was presented to the court of the Session Judge, who, after establishing adherence of his faith to the tenets of Islam and the integrity of his circumcision, looked down the shiny barrel of the Baretta held to his mouth by the pillar of Islam, General Ahmad Shuja Pasha. 

He also surveyed the pile of crisp, bank notes, amounting to 180 million rupees, paid in by the House of Saud, and sanctified by the Imam of Kaaba. 

After this, the family of the bereaved were brought before the court one by one. They all forgave the Ghazi, in the best traditions of the  Ummah, after accepting the sanctified qisas money into their peace loving pockets and a message of felicitations from HRH Malik Abdullah of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia and HRH Leon Panetta of the Kingom of Langley, Virginia. 

Brother Davis came out of his cage and embraced all the brothers in faith, before being driven at great speed to the Allama Iqbal International Airport and thence to Bagram Centre of Excellence for Peace Studies.

To his delight, he found that his Glock handgun, his 3G mobile phone and his packet of naswar was returned to him in his hand luggage with compliments from the Chief of the Emirate of the Punjab, Ghazi Shehbaz Sharif. 

Ghazi Davis eventually settled in Highland Ranch, Colorado, where he set to work, tirelessly for the renaissance of the Ummah by breaking the jaws of the enemies of Islam, in the parking lot of the Einstein Bagels. May Allah reward him the best of rewards. 

This happy ending was the culmination of a long and arduous personal endeavour, undertaken by the Pillar of Islam. He traversed long distances and accumulated many air miles, for the good cause of averting the biggest threat to the world peace after the Cuban Missile Crisis and the attack on the American forces by Aafia Siddiqi. He deserves our deepest gratitude for pulling the nation back from the edge of disaster and the world from a nuclear holocaust. 

The good general has now retired and passed the baton to a team, quite  as dedicated to the glory of Islam. The next challenge facing us is how to ransom the hero of the Ummah, Malik Mumtaz Awan, from the clutches of the Zionist Adyala Jail, so that he can also contribute once again to the world peace, by spraying 22 bullets in the back of the enemies of Islam, when they are not looking.

It has been suggested that an emergency summit meeting of the OIC should be held, as soon as possible, after the infidel NATO troops have retreated, at the Bagram Airbase, where the foremost issue facing the Ummah should be discussed, i.e. how to prevent christian women from polluting the muslim wells and to welcome them into the fold of Islam under the auspices of the blasphemy law. 

The way of the knife is the way forward.