Extraordinary Rendition
Hakim Hazik
Dear viewers,
We are in the State Cave complex in Miran Shah from where we will bring you the blow by blow account of the negotiations between the delegates of Darul Kufr of the Trans Indus and the Islamic Emirate of the Khurasan.
Our viewers will recall that we achieved the unique milestone in our history of a smooth transition of power. The reigns of the government were passed smoothly and peacefully to the new administration and a national consensus was reached by bombing only one high level meeting, after the martyrdom of Brother Wali ur Rehman Mehsud.
The interlocutors from the Trans Indus include the rising star of the infidel politics, Noon Al-Ghunna, aided by Shriek Barbardari from Indus Delta region of Nawab Shah. As the world knows, they are aided and abetted by the Zionist movement in occupied Jerusalem and the International organisation for the promotion of usury and load shedding, the IMF.
The negotiations will be about how the Suba Jaat of Lahore, Multan and Al-Sind can become tribute paying affiliates, before complete submission to the will of Allah and of Brother Hakimullah. The Al-Ghunna commander, Rana Mustache Ullah will be leading the Indus delegation. He is known to be the leading expert on cleansing the impure segments of the society and is a renowned veteran of Gojra and Wassan Pura. May Allah give hidaya to the others to see the light of salvation as he has seen.
The emirate won a famous victory when the local commander of Gandhara, Im Al-Dimmi joined us with a huge lashkar and declared his allegiance to the Commander of the Faithful, Hakimullah Al-Mehsud, may Allah SWT protect him from UAVs.
Waving our black flags, we are giving pursuit to the army of the infidels, who have withdrawn to Bagram and very soon will be chased across Amu Darya. By the grace of Allah, we will soon have the jugular of the infidel army in our pious hands as we will control the flow of traffic both across Torkham and across Chaman. The Dimmi subaltern, Pervez Al-Khatak has tried to back pedal, but he will not be allowed to wriggle out of his commitment to lie down in front of the enemy convoys. Inshallah.
Allah has given great patience to the Quetta Shura. Now the time has come that the infidels have been taught a historic lesson and they will be sneaking back home across the seas. The Shura will soon, Inshallah, travel to Qandahar and re-establish the Ministry of Enforcement of Virtue and Prevention of Vice.
The Caliphate will be armed with nuclear technology in a suit case, as developed by Dr Bashirud Din Mahmood and black flag technology, as developed by Abu Muslim Khurasani, General Hamid Gul and General Syed Zaid Hamid. As the latter two stalwarts move to the Emirate, the IQ of both Trans Indus and Khurasan will rise.
They will be welcomed by shouts of Takbir and Tahlil. Khurasan is an idea whose time has come.