Extraordinary Rendition
By: Hakim Hazik
We would be very honoured to have the pleasure of you company in the annual dinner of the Association. We look forward to a wonderful programme of glamour and glitz, fun and entertainment through the course of the evening, at the Campaign headquarters of Mingora. One of the main attractions will be live executions by means of beheading, shooting and lynching of the leading arts and educational figures from the local community. These remarkable individuals have been specially nominated by the Tehrik e Taliban Pakistan, our partners in good governance.
We are fortunate to the have the company of the famous commander, Maulana Fazlullah, who will inspect a guard of honour on his famous white steed. He will also deliver the key note address to the genteel audience. The state of the art lecture is to be titled, ‘The Use Of Digital Radio In Nation Building’. This will be accompanied by ‘Charisma and beheading in a democracy’, delivered by the world renowned Jalalabad veteran, General Hamid Gul.
Before dinner, the Maulana will award pickled severed heads and other trophies to the winners of various competitions, including burqa race and watwani contest.
We have arranged special programmes for children. The boys will be able to attend a specially arranged model jihadi camp. The famous war veteran of Afghan Jihad and raconteur, Engineer Hekmatyar will entertain the children with his delightful stories of blowing up of schools and massacre of school teachers. The children will be joined via satellite link by distinguished alumni such as Baitullah Meshsud from Waziristan and Mohammad Ajmal Kasab from Bombay, to give exclusive lectures on hostage taking and urban warfare.
In the end a practice session will take place, using specially adapted Kalashnikovs and live ammunition. Please collect your children promptly at the end of the evening. Please bring your own body bags.
Please find in the enclosed brochures, special messages from Mr. Brzezinski and Congressman Charlie Wilson, the founders and patrons of the longest, the most extensive and the most successful jihad in the human history. They have a special place in our hearts and a unique status in the Association hall of fame. Sadly they are unable to attend, but Ambassador Patterson has kindly agreed to receive trophies on their behalf from Maulana Fazlullah.
The association has introduced a lifetime achievement award. We are very pleased to announce that this year, the award goes to Maulana Sufi Mohammad, in recognition of the epoch making achievement of blowing up the 200th girls’ school in the Swat Valley. This has been possible only because of Maulana’s dedication to the cause of Sharia, selfless contribution, over the years not only by the Maulana but also by his family and friends. The association notes with gratitude that the Maulana has decided to continue his noble work in Bajaur. We have no doubt that great social advancements await the people of Bajaur.
We look forward to a long and fruitful partnership.
RSVP
General and Mrs. Ashfaq Pervez Kayani
President and Life Member
ISI Alumni Association
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