Tuzk e Jahangiri

By: Hakim Hazik

Nawab Din halwai has infarmed me on reliable tharty that the chief of CIA railway tation is gan. Someone has balown away his cover. Naoo, I can nat undersatand these bonga Mercans. When you are in Pakustan, you must always cover your head. You must always satay within your boundary wall. If you step outsad, you must cover your head with chadar. But no Sir Ji, the Mercans don’t understand the sancteetee of chadar and chardiwari.

As you know the chadar was invented by the late journal and servant of Islam and CIA, Journal Mohammad Zia ul Haq, may God shower his blessings on his jawbone. He has a special place in the eyes of God and of Leon Sahib Panetta. The late journal sahib also invented the flogging in market places of rebellious bottoms and lynching of blasphemous teenagers at the hands of the faithful. The Ummah can never forget his efforts in the service of civilization.

He served all his masters including God and Reagan Sahib and King Khalid Sahib with selfless devotion. Uncle Sam was happy, Brother Khalid was happy and Mamoonjan Tufail Mohammad was happy. The impatant question is why is Uncle Sam no langer happy? Why is Uncle Munawwar Hasan nat happy? Why is Brother Abdullah not happy? Hain Ji? I don’t know. May be Shriek Chairman knows. May be Keem Sahib knows. I will have to ask them one by one.

I think so when journal Pasha Sahib travels to Brooklyn, he will not be so stupid like tation master sahib. I think so that he will look after his cover and nat blow it like a fool. He will tie his head scarf tightly around his chin like Farhat Hashmi and not use a lal dupatta to cover his head like Noor Jahan. In a strang wind a lal dupatta can fly away and blow the cover. That can put nashnal scorety and hanour in danger.  

But then there is the disturbing news that the Journal Sahib Pasha has got a head cold he is unfit to travel. Dr Kayani has dvised complete rest and an injection of Mercan dollars. This medicine is very fective gainst the cold virus, haoo ever, there is precaution: It must never be taken with the Kerry-Luger linctus. This can be a deadly combination for the journals. It can also damage the national hanour and af course nobady wants that.

But then I am asking Brother Nawab Din Halwai of Choonamandi, why should journal sahib travel to Brooklyn coat anyhaoo? So that the nashnal hanour is dragged in mud? If nashnal hanour was nat impatant, would he nat travel to sapreem coat in  Salamabad fust and release the 11 men that he is keeping in dee freezer?

I have asked Keem sahib. He says that the burghers of Brooklyn should rat in hell. I gree. I think all burgers should be eaten.

Hawa main urta jai

Mera lal dupatta malmal ka

Mohammad Jahangir Badar,

Secty Journal