Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

The time is now. It can not be delayed any more. We have to finish the unfinished agenda of the Partitions. No, not to take back Kashmir but to drive out the infidels, the heretics, those who hold partners with God, those who hold partners with the GHQ, liberal secularists, secular liberalists and Asma Jahangir.

This country was established in the name of Islam. All those who do not subscribe to this ideal, will have the baton ruthlessly applied to their backsides, as symbolized in the national flag, till they become repentant and make a penitent video, signed off by Ehsan Ullah Ehsan, the national icon and the custodian of our ideology. 

Malala can go to school in Edgbaston. We will continue our efforts against infamy in Saidu Sharif. We will bring down the rule of the godless in Islamabad, as we did in Badami Bagh, in Gojra, in Shanti Nagar and in the Kurram agency. The place of a women inside the house, and inside the burqa, those who step outside of either will provoke the ire of the Amir ul Momineen will be flogged in public, held down by pious, God fearing men with adequate facial hair and trousers which do not cover the ankles, in accordance with the holy Sharia. 

We are not against modern technology. We are quite happy for the bulldozers to flatten the Shama Cinenma, for the diggers to dig the mass graves and for the Youtube to post bracing videos of the beheading of the infidels. We are happy for the ammonium nitrate from the Pak-Arab fertilizer to be used in car bombs and Honda GTi to be used in the drive by shootings. We are against the polio drops and missiles dropped from the drones. They are clearly against the Sharia. 

We refuse to accept that Jinnah was the father of the nation. He was a heretic. An Ismaili, turned Isna Ashari. Zia ul Haq was the father of the nation. May God give him a place in the Jannat ul Firdaus where he can partake of the milk and honey at the CSD rates and listen to the melodies of the Benjamin sisters whilst in friendly conversation with mamoon jan. 

We propose the Malik Mumtaz Qadri be pardoned and released from the prison forthwith. We propose that he should be made the care taker prime minister so that he can hold the elections where pure, unsullied, non heretic muslims are selected to the parliament. He is an asset for the Ummah and for the Drone ul Ummah who has asked for his immediate release and recommends him for the presidential Pride of Performance award. 

Blasphemy law is the bedrock of our ideology. Those who call it a black law should be shot  with twenty four bullets in the back. We need to amend the Objective Resolution and replace it with this blessed law. We demand that this should be made part of the constitution and not the preamble. That is how the nation will progress and become a shiny beacon to follow across the world. 

And yes we support the Nobel Prize for Qadri. 

Syed Drone ul Ummat

Amir e Jamaat