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Pride and Dignity

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik


‘The army will resolutely preserve its own dignity and institutional pride’, it was announced in the press release of the iSPR, sitting down for an iPhoto session after the Corps Commanders conference. The conference has taken a dim view of the statements issued on the floor of the iParliament by the eGovernment ministers. 


It was decided that as soon as the Prime Minister returned from China, the case would be put before him and a the cold barrel of a gun behind him, to leave no one in any doubt that the army takes its pride seriously.


Extensive preparations are already under way to redeem the pride. The NLI soldiers, left to die on the slopes of Tololing are being identified with dental and DNA record, so that they can be awarded some of this pride in their martyrdom. 


A special mission will be sent to the Paltan Maidan, to correct the historic injustice done to General Tiger Niazi. The High Commissioner will demand the Wajid government that the patent leather shoe, with which the General was struck in 1971 should be repatriated as it is a national icon and holds a unique place in the national consciousness. 


The army has made great sacrifices to the highest rank. Many of the Corps Commanders have personally given up a full day of golf, merely to be at the conference. These sacrifices should not be taken lightly by the jumped up politicians and the noisy media, playing in the hands of foreign agencies. Whereas they have been given ample opportunities to play in the hands of the domestic agencies. Sadly, not many have taken up this opportunity apart from some notable exceptions such as K Khan of the KK Klan, may Allah unblock his nose. 


General Bajwa said that ‘Pakistan is beset with great dangers. There are some powers who are not happy with our sovereignty. Some of them are to be found in our own region, especially in the Parliament and in the Supreme Court.’ 


In the task to defend the nation, the armed forces have acquitted themselves with great valour and professionalism, especially the AFIC who have earned the gratitude of the nation and praise from all over the world. Tributes have poured in from Fort Leavenworth, Sandhurst and the International Criminal Court in the Hague. 



The conference expressed its displeasure at the release of the people who had disappeared. They called it against the norms of civilised behaviour and of modern physics that disappeared people who are non existent be released to their families. The conference decided to do a long march the United Nations compound in Islamabad, to present them with a memorandum about the chicanery of these criminals. The march will be called the voice of the non existent impostors. It was also decided to send a delegation to the CERN in Geneva where a missing person from Khuzdar has been found, claiming to be the Higg’s Boson. 


The conference was adjourned after the singing of the national anthem. 


Pak sar zameen shad bad. 


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