Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

I condemn the dastardly attack on Brother Israrullah who has become a martyr to the cause of peace for the KP. This is the 213th attack on the KP; all because we are fighting a war that is not our war. I also condemn the 212th, 211th and 210th attack carried out by misguided brothers who have to be isolated from greatly misguided brothers through dialogue. Once we have done that, there will be a few brothers left who are very greatly misguided. They will have to face the full force of Code Pink till they accept the writ of the state and become a part of the mainstream misguided brothers.

There is no other way except dialogue. We cannot win this war. I have read history as far back as East India Company when God created the universe and the Brown Sahib. The Brown Sahib refused to bow before the Great Off White Hope, that is, Yours Truly. He was given till the day of judgement to use drones on the misguided brothers. But the day of judgement is nigh. The change has already come. The tsunami is already here. 

Whenever there is talk of dialogue, the Brown Sahib starts a war through the Hidden Hand. We have to fight the Hidden Hand with Low IQ, the most potent weapon invented against the threat facing our country. The suicide bombers are our brothers. We must embrace them.. We must tell them about the Hidden Hand, the Asian elephant and the Noon League Tiger. We must read them bedtime stories, till they drift off to sleep and we can defuse their suicide switches.

As Brother Hakimullah says, we should do more. We must pull out the army from the tribal areas and restore them to their historic independence status. They should be free to practice car theft and stoning of the dregs of society like polio workers. The economy cannot progress without peace in the land. Only peace will allow car theft and abduction for ransom to be established on a sustainable basis. The dividends of peace will be limitless. A new Pakistan will emerge.

We have started a campaign to enroll children to the primary schools. The schools that the misguided brothers have blown up will remain blown up. We will build shacks and we will grow grass. The children will sit on the grass which has never been trampled upon by a polio worker. We should respect polio. The only way to eradicate polio is through an equal and honourable dialogue with the polio virus. The children will get a chance to live in harmony with all the important microbes. We must not fight the war that has been imposed on us to fight our own microbes.

I have note that Brown Sahib is always lurking in the background. He went to the UN with Malala. He wants to take all the credit. We should stop him. I propose that PTI leadership, Adnan Rashid and Malala should sit down and have a dialogue. Brown Sahib should stay out of it. He is a danger to the Ummah.