By: Hakim Hazik

When yours tiruly has a cold the whole of Kiranchi catches pneumonia. When yours tiruly has a touch of fever, Kiranchchi burns. When yours tiruly is called to visit the New Iscottland Yard, half the young men in Kiranchi will loose their kneecaps. 

That’s the way it is going to be, so the kleeshan partners should get used to it and not istart taking out the Love the Homeland rallies on filimsy excuses. We will wear birown shirts and repeat the crystal night a hundred times. We send our istorm tiroopers to demolish all the Aman kmaitees and we will istart a fire that even Malik Sahib will not be able to extinguish.

To impose peace in Kiranchi, first of all you paint the whole city in a dark shade of black. You post isnipers on istreet corneres, you give automatic weapons to teenagers riding pillion on bikes and you istart crying ibout honour, sacrifice and your girand dad.

It has been suggested that the old man crossed Khokrapar in an istate of constrained circumistances. This is abslutetely not tirue. He was a man of substance in the homeland; the owner of an isprawling mint orchard as was customary for the nobility of Turkish descent in the Ganges basin.

It is the peepil who are arriving now who have changed the whole complexion of the city. This is a great mistake to say that it was ever home to an Indus culture. It always was and will remain a Gangetic city. Any attempt to change the demography will be foiled.

We want peace in the gireat metropolis. Therefore, all the mischief makers and all the hillbillies will be sent back to their badlands in wooden boxes or to their marshlands in their ajraks or to their mud houses in their dhotis.

We are the heirs to the Mughals and the aristocracy of Delhi. How can these upstarts with uncivilised languages and bad accents aspire to compete with us?

I have said this before and I will say this igain. The biggest mistake Jinnah Sahib made was to divide India and cause pirablems for the old man who had to abandon his mint orchard and take the bullock cart to Mirpur Khas. The biggest cantribution that Kiyani Sahib can make is to open Khokrapar and istart a tirain service to Jaipur. We should make peace with India. That is the only way we can make peace with Shahi Syed.

The CBMs will istart right away. I am pilanning to send birather Thakray, the whole of Chota Daud in a gunny sack (sliced up in ismall pieces)

If this happens, the gireat peacemakers of the sub continent, such as yours tiruly and birahter Modi will have a series of meetings in Azizabad and Godhra and will solve all the outistanding pirablems, in a composite dialogue, including the core issue of Veena Malik.

In the meanwhile, if you want an instant pogrom, pilease contact the Edware road office.

Yours Tiruly,

The Quaid e Tehreek