Extraordinary Rendition

By Hakim Hazik

Did you come to my lanching ceremoaney? It was a histaric occayun. The Shareek Chairman made a revolutionary sapeach, although the book is called, ‘The Evolution of Damo Cracy’. Damo cracy started in England, so the book is in Englush. Englush is sapoken in England. Germany is sapoken in German. The leader in England is called the prime minister. The leader in German is called the Fuhrer. The leader in Pakistan is called the Shareek Chairman.  

Shareek Chairman is the best, because he reminds us of Shaheed chairman Zulfikar Ali Bhutto and Shaheed Mohtarma Benazir Bhutto. That makes him very powerful. Journal Tinpat is also very powerful. He reminds us of Lalak Jan Shaheed, Karnal Sher Khan Shaheed and a thousand others. Inshallah with the help of these leaders, we will soon all be shaheed. Such are the blessings of damo cracy.  

Between you and me, Shareek Chairman is feeling lonely. He wants the childrens to come back from Abu Dubai. I told him that there is a house vacant next door, same to same as mine. He could become my neighbourer, Inside Bhati Gate. But Shareek Chairman’s heart has come on the President’s house. I pinted out to him ‘Don’t kill bongiyan, Journal Tinpat already lives there’. He says, 'It is the will of the massis that counts' and says that he will go to the massis. Shpecially Massi Rice and Massi Patterson.  

Damo cracy started in 1215 in England. King Jan Mhamd was the king. He was also called King Jan. He signed a declaration and called it Magna Cata. Same to same as Shareek Chairman, who is my Bhai Jan, signed a declaration and called it Bhurban Declaration. Some peepal strongly smelled a rat. So it is also called High Bow Cata. Due to Magna Cata, England has achieved damo cracy. We will also achieve damo cracy in eight hundred years. This is the evolution of damo cracy.  

My brather and my neighbourer, Khawaja Saader Feeq went for a long marach in Salamabad. I told him, if you want to help Musarrat Nazir, her long was lost in Shah Noor Studio, what are you going to Salamabad for? But he is very motional. He went anyhow. He has sent me a post cart: 

Dear Brather,

We rived safely in the prate grond, at three thuty in the marning. We were armed with nothing but raw courage, steely determination, and our bums. We were all keen to deploy our bums in a peaceful manner. We thought until our bums hit the grond, the grond realties will nat change. Nat so, said Itzasab. Your bums are very expensive, we can nat ford them. It has taken a poor nation lat of resources to develop and maintain them. The second imapatant thing is that we want to remain peaceful and nan violent. Look what happened when the Amercan smart bums attacked Mohmand Gency. Lat of peepal gat killed. We do nat want to create a situation of la and ardour. There is already lat of ardour and not enough la, shpecially in Pukhtoonkhwa. We dispersed without a sit in. It was a state of the arse sapeach.  

PS: please buy the book and suppoat the paty.

Yours truly,

Mhamd Jungeer Badar,

Secty Journal,

Pakistan Peepal Paty

Lhor 

Also by Hakim Hazik: Think Tank, Spinmaster General, May His Tribe Increase, King Badar the Conquerer