Tuzk e Jahangiri

Hakim Hazik

Dear Brethren and Sistren in Islam,

Ramadan Kareem to you and to kullun Ummah and to those who followed the Shriek Chairman and did not fall into the trap of the fake mullah of Toronto and the secret mullah on the inside, Imran bin Khan  al-Mukhabirati. 

Ramadan is a month when the sins of the Ummah are forgiven and the ghost of Shaitan Zia ul Haq is bound in chains so that it does nat lead astray the faithful in the 111 Brigade. The letter P is also banished from the length and breadth of the Ummah and malaikas and auroras descend from the heaven, bringing the blessings of the letter B.

By the grace of Almighty Allah SWT, the whole of the Al-Banjab, the biggest Brovince of Al-Bakistan has been declared an area free from the letter P. We fully subbort our valiant army led by the able journal, Raheel Shareef who is at the forefront of the efforts to eradicate terrorism and the letter P from Waziristan druing Ramadan Shareef. In fact, there is evidence that P is already on the run and may be trying to cross into the Khost Brovince. Therefore if Karzai is a son of a banda, he should seal the barder and hand over Mullah Fazlullah and kill the letter P before it wreaks havouc in Afghanistan, as it has done in Bakistan. 

Choisaab should be grateful that the sound Ch is keeping a low brofile. Otherwise, he would be in deeb trouble. To him, I have only one message: suck more (after Iftar). Sir ji, when you blay in the hands of the journals, and try to make grand daddy alliances, this is what habbens. Naoo, blease to admit that the unda is on your face, touch your ears and come and jyne Shriek Chairman. He is looking after all the yatama and masakeen (including bolitical) in the month of Ramadan Shareef.

Journal Sahib is a brofessinal soldier? My miskeen foot. What kind of brofessional can nat control his own rufaqa fram attacking vans of newsbabers, burning them down and then claim that the malaikas and auroras did it during shab e qadar? And at the same time, shouting Allahu Akbar, and honour and dignity with a fist in the air. And the iftar bakora would nat melt in his bious mouth. 

Same to same goes for Brother Imran bin Khan as well. When you hitch a ride on the wings of malaika, eventually you land in the Saroor Balace, to be served nat Shirab e Tahoor, bersonally by Zeenat Aman but Aab e Zam Zam  by the Khadim of Haram Shareef. The days af Journal Meed Gul are gaan. IJI is nat coming back, the shuhada af Khair pur Tamewali are nat coming back. Journal Gilani is nat coming back to groom any scions of Lunda Bazaar or Zaman Barak.

The Shriek Chairman was sneered at by Miansab and Khansaab and by all maternal uncles af damo cracy, but he finished the term and handed over the keys af the Bagal Khana to Brother Mamnoon bin Husain, nat to Brother Kiyani. 

I think so, he had the last laugh.

Haza min Fazle Rabbi,

Santer Mohommad Jahangir Badar

Ex. Journal Secty.