Tuzk e Jahangiri

By: Hakim Hazik

Have you heard the news? The cabinet is reshuffling. Like a pack of cards. Some peepal say that size is nat impatant. Perfarmacne is what matters. I think so, it is very big. The size should be reduced. Lazy, good for nothing ministers should be sacked. In their place good good, hard working, highly ejucated peepal should be braat, who keep the pain of the patty in their heart, who have rubbed their battams and given their bled, like myself.

Peepal who do nat want any rewat. Peepal who are nat after money ar psition ar power. Peepal who have everything given by Gad. Peepal with a good famly backgrond.

We have chaaked  out a palan. I have stayed up all nat with the Shriek Chairman. I will af course be the pram minister. There is no one better suited far the jab. Shriek Chairman is greed. We need someone who has a high profile nashnally and internashnally, who can sapeak Inglush with the faran digni trees. Prince Charlus, as you know, talks to trees, but there are not many like him. Moreover, I am used to the psitions af power, as I am already the Secty Journal af the Paty.

No sir ji, no. You can’t be serious. Chory Tzazessun can nat be the pram minister. Have you eaten grass by mistake? He is hand in glaoo with Miansab. He has caazd a lat of grief to the Shriek Chairman and the sole of Sheed Bibi Sahiba. His sole mbition is to kaz anaar key and may ham in the country, so that he can make a samooth path for the army to march in. He is an insult to the balack coat he wears. He is a balack sheep.

So is Kurd Saab. Thanks God, one lakh times that he is nat in the paty. Otherwise I would have to give him a sho kaz notus as well. Mercans have refused him visa. Well done to Mercans and serves him right. I would say to him, suck more on the sugarcanes.

Fauzia Wab will be my dipti. No, no. I don’t mean Dipti Bhatnagar. I mean dipti pram minister. If you ask me she has earned this psition. She has defended the paty in adverse sichu ations. She has gone on TV and refused to stop taaking. She has endeared the paty to the masses. She is somebady, peepal can trust blindly, as she will always tell the truth. We need such bright bright peepal in the paty and nat peepal like Tzazsab, who lack basic intelligence and camman sense.

Raja Praise Ashraf will have to go. He is always wiping the dust aff turnips. Peepal are saleeping in the satreets. They want lectricity naoo. They can’t wait for Raja Saab to be oiling and dyeing his hair. They are asking, where are the barges with power palants, which were sailing aff fram the Black Sea? Why there is still black out? Hain ji? They want to dunk him in the Mangla Lake, but unfortunately it has gan dry.

In madren tams, the gormint has to be madren. We will make the gormint a lean and mean fatting machine.

Yes we can.

Yours Truly,

Mumd Jungeer Badar

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