By: Hakim Hazik

Durand Line divides the great land mass of Fak-Ap and the bottom of Maulana Fazlur Rehman into two parts. This does not mean that one part has primacy over the other. The local people are aware of it and travel freely across it to see their kith and kin.

Al-Haaj Mortimer Al-Durand was born in Bazar Hakeeman in 1850. He learnt his surveying skills in Madrassa Aliya Blackheath and became adept at calligraphy and map making and  He is most fondly remembered for the exquisite line that he drew, that still carries his name and has become a major national asset and a world wide tourist attraction.

People from across the globe behold it in awe and marvel at its strategic importance. If it was not in place the whole geo-strategic balance, especially of Maulana, would go awry and the Global War on Terror would be lost.

One of the international celebrities most enamoured of this major landmark is Brother Jalal ud Din Haqqani, formerly, professor of IED studies in the International Islamic University. He has made his mark by becoming our major (Non NATO) ally in our quest to assert our sovereignty.

In pursuit of this noble objective and, he has often gone across the Line, most recently taking his cohort of disciplined martyrs to occupy the highest building in Kabul and leave it a smoking hulk for the greater glory of the Ummah.

The Americans have crossed the Line in a despicable and shameless fashion and killed innocent soldiers who were only doing their duty. We will never allow the NATO tankers to traverse the holy land of the Ummah unless the Coalition Support Fund is increased and Senators Kerry and Luger are publicly shot on the Pennsylvania avenue. Our resolve is not to be underestimated. We have dealt a mortal blow to the conspiracies hatched by Mossad at the behest of Husain Haqqani. We will ensure that all government institutions, including Ahl Sunnat Wal Jamat work within their constitutional ambit.

Our sovereignty is also regularly serviced by the International Sensitive Agency whose sensitive antennas are finely tuned to any criminal politicians overstepping their mark. Their visits to China and to Chinese massage parlours are meticulously recorded and archived for any threats to the national sovereignty.

Like all sovereign nations in the world, we need friends not masters. We need trade not aid. The extension of the MFN status to India is a crass folly. Once the criminal politicians are cashiered and the rule of law is restored in Islamabad, we will offer the MFN status to Waziristan and build a pipeline to the GHQ. We will dismantle the terrorist training camps in Raiwind and in Nawab Shah and thus eliminate a major threat to the world peace.

Public Notice:

Quran Khawani will be held at the Camp Office to offer benediction to the soul of Shaheed OBL, who achieved immortality last year, in addition to achieving (Soft) Strategic Depth in Afghanistan and eventually in the Arabian Sea.