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Brother Brother and Brother Pasha

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

Dear Brother,

Do you seriously think that you can talk to the infidel Americans and the running dog Karzai while sitting in the citadel of Islam and enjoying the peace and prosperity of the city of Karachi? Do you think you can carry on behind our back while partaking of prime quality snuff, provided courtesy of the International Sensitive Agency?

You must be out of your mind brother Brother. You could easily find yourself at the wrong end of a drone fired missile. You could quite as easily find yourself on a trash heap outside Turbat, with a bullet firmly lodged in the back of the head. They would never find the empty shells brother; that's the standard operative procedure. Anonymous bullets and dead men tell no tales.

You can run dear brother Brother, but you cannot hide. You can go to Maldives or you can go to the Oruzgan Province but in the end you will have to come home to daddy in the headquarters of the Agency. This is where you and I belong brother Brother. This is where you must come to sip your green tea and have your beard trimmed to the length prescribed by Sharia.

Oh oh, these manacles seem to have caused some abrasions to your hardy skin. Shall I get the batman to bring a turmeric dressing? It can be quite soothing really. Do you want some sugar lumps with your green tea? No no, it is no trouble at all. You must remember brother Brother you could easily have been sipping arsenic. Unlike sugar, there is no shortage. This is the land of the plenty. And as you know we have so many exotic spices and condiments in our warehouse.

When you get into bed with Karzai without telling us, don’t expect the earth to move. Nothing will move brother Brother, without our permission. Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise, least of all Holbrooke. Have you forgotten what has happened to Baitullah? Can you tell me where Hakimullah is today? Are you not aware of the fate of the 3 wives and 39 children of Haqqani? Helfires are precise munitions brother, but science is not infallible. You can never rule out human error.

Remember, it is us who look after the Shura. Quetta is crawling with spies brother. It is certainly no safer than Waziristan. If you want to go and talk to Amir ul Momineen, if you have received pleas for help from the infidels, that is fine. But you need someone to be watching your back. It is for your own safety. You should not wander into the unchartered territory. Our concerns are based on brotherly love only.

And yes, don’t make any mistakes. I am not in a hurry to retire. The summary is on the table of Sipah Salar Sahib. I should be around at least for another year to support you and help your through these difficult times.

I am my brother Brother’s keeper.

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