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Dajjal for Dummies

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik


As the faithful celebrate the holy month of Ramzan (Ramadan), it is incumbent on all of them not to the forget the doughty Dajjal who seems to have become a victim of insensitivity and neglect quite unbecoming of a mighty Ummah 


It was hardly a generation ago that the streets of Damascus were teeming with bonny and gregarious Dajjal offspring. They are nowhere to be seen now. The calamity that has befallen Syria, not unlike that of Andalusia and Baghdad before that, has decimated their population.


Syed Mad Hamid is the only honorable person whose conscience is still alive (from nine to five, Monday to Saturday) so that he consistently raises his voice to prevent this genocide, in addition to his invaluable work for the protection of Rohingya Muslims and the conquest of India, (immediately after the conquest of Supreme Court and SAFMA)


For the past one thousand years, Syed sahib has consistently warned against the threats to the Ummah, including Halaku Khan and Hamid Mir, in lieu of a small honorarium from the ISI. Unfortunately, his warnings were ignored and we have ended up in the morass of a parliamentary democracy instead of the glory of the Peacock Throne in the Red Fort. The only way out of this ignominy is to abjure the temptations of Islamabad and take to the road to Delhi via Wahga and Burj Atari, riding pillion on Dajjal, with Maria B.   


The Supreme Court is in hoc to the RAW. How else do you explain the Chief Justice throwing out the case against the 19 journalists who are working as a fifth column of RAW to undermine the ideology of Pakistan and casting aspersions on the personal character of  Dajjal. 


They have attacked the Objectives Resolution, they have attacked the army, the ISI, and the madcaps, all of them national institutions of Pakistan. The only way forward is to try them under article 6 for treason and punish them by attaching a timed device to their cars. Once they have been taught the lesson of patriotism, their bodies should be buried in the Arabian Sea, via Upper Jhelum Canal. 


There is one glimmer of hope among all this gloom. That is the honest endeavor by Dr Aamir Hamaqat called Aman Ramzan (Ramadan). He has delighted the hearts of the faithful by distributing motorcycle and babies. The prospective parents (and drivers) are carefully selected by answering tough questions on the ideology of Pakistan. They have promised not to sell the motorbikes (and the babies), before they are a year old. 


As all the discerning readers will know, the bottom line is the economy. If we can revive the flagging economy of the Ummah, (by selling motorbikes and babies), the overall social situation will improve. We will get more peaceful cities, a healthier nation and a happier Dajjal. 


May Allah (SWT) accept our efforts. 


We will now take a commercial break. When we come back, we will discuss the huge popularity of Islam among the nubile Hindu girls of Sind. Don’t go away. 


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