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Dajjal Inc.

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik


According to a WWF report, the Dajjal population in Pakistan is recovering after the ban on diclofenac was imposed. New colonies have been spotted by satellite images available from the CIA surveillance centre in Tampa, Florida. Large herds have been seen near Muridke and Akora Khattak flourishing on the halal fodder developed by the Dajjal FoundationTM, a subsidiary of Fauji FoundationTM.  


The famous conservationist and Dajjal farmer, Oriole Maqbool Jan has welcomed this development. In a joint press conference with Syed Sangsar Abbasi, he lauded the efforts of ISPR who have revised the numbers of the non combatant Dajjal killed, downwards, so that more money can be made available from the USAID to invest in education and health in Pukhtunkhwa and on developing interest free banking, with gold and silver coinage. 


The famous trio, Musharka, Mudarba and Veena Malik also attended the conference. Our readers will know that they have represented Pakistan successfully in the Big Boss competition and won kudos from the Council of Islamic Ideology and Ashmit Patel. Ms. Malik also spoke at the conference and said that the US should give access to Pakistani tattoo exports under the same regime that is available to Bangladesh. The only way to preserve Dajjal on a sustainable basis is by involving the local population. We want trade, not aid. 


Syed Sangsar Abbasi said that the Elders of Zion have infiltrated our physics departments and are bent upon introducing alien ideologies, successfully repudiated by eminent Islamic scientists such as Ptolemy, Allama Bin Baz and Sarah Palin. He said that accursed heliocentric system is a case in point. The learned Allama showed that it was against the basic laws of physics and the authentic traditions of the Prophet. However, the West, in their blind hatred of the East, has supported this instrument of imperialism. He put heliocentricism at par with orientalism and racism. 


On the vexed question of why the Jews did not come to work on 9/11, Syed Sahib has said that Malala has failed to come up with a satisfactory answer, in spite of the coaching she has received from Mr. Husain Haqqani, Dr. Hoodbuoy and Prof. Lifebuoy. She is obviously speaking the language of her imperialist masters by casting aspersions on Salman Rashdi and the pillar of Islam, Maulana Whisky whose services to the cause of Islam and single malt remain unparalleled in history of the Ummah.


If she hopes to get traction on the western readership by decrying our own iconic figures, she is sorely mistaken. We produced world class scholars such as Al-Beiruni and Adnan Rashid in Baghdad and Bannu, when the West was mired in ignorance. She expects to gain sympathies of the West, simply because she has been shot in the head. There are numerous girls whom we have personally shot in the head and put in wheel chairs. Nobody has ever heard of them in The Daily Show. I personally sprained my back ,trying to raise the banner of Islam last week. Why did I not see Obama in the Oval Office? 


The answer is staring you in the face. Its Jews, CIA and Hoodbuoy. Malala is a mere pawn in the games they play. And don’t be taken in by that trickster, Syed Amir Ali. He is an apostate. 


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