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Fauji Bottoms in Foggy Bottom

Tuzk e Jahangiri

By: Hakim Hazik

When Shriek Chairman gives his tongue, he keeps pass of it. Those small small peepal who cuse him af nat keeping pass, should look inside their own shirt callar. Naoo you tell me, why did Miansaab throw a tantrum? Why did he cuse Shriek Chairman of being danger to damo cracy? Did Zia ul Haq come in his dream and pramise janat ul firdaus? Did Zia ul Haq come in his dream and pramise Tahira Syed?

Was Zia ul Haq a danger to damo cracy or was he a grand daddy af all damo crats like you? If you ask me Miansaab, you are a test tube damo crat, barn in the lab of Zia ul Haq. Naoo you have the cheek to talk bout the dangers facing damo cracy? The same cheeks that the dead dictator was so fand of patting. Some of us did nat have lucky cheeks like you sir ji and have scars fram the lashes of the grand dad.

Don’t be too cheek by jowl with the fauji damo crats sir ji. Remember, the late dictator did nat have either a cheek or a jowl remaining. All that was left was a jawbone sir ji, blackened with soot and smelling of mangoes and nerve gas. No military boots or fauji bottoms for aspiring damo crats to kiss sir ji.

Ok, ok, the faujis are visiting the State Department and the Pentagon. I know that they have unveiled their dandas and their test tubes. But what can the Shriek Chairman do sir ji? If you sloot their dandas and make strange strange press canferences, this is what will happen. What you started with Kerry Luger sahib’s bill has progressed naoo to pintment of fynance minister. Suck more.  


Did the foon come sir ji? Who fooned you if I may ask? Was is someone who spoats damo cracy? Was it somebady who spoats you? What has happened to the Chatter of damo cracy? You have fargatten in the chatter of press conference.

You have gone very quiet bout the chatter of damo cracy sir ji. You were talking bout it all the time with tears in your eyes and gushing over the memory of sheed Motarma. Your were holding khatam every Thursday of chatter of damo cracy on date stones. What does chatter of damo cracy say bout pintment af judges? Hain ji? Why has the snake smelled you naoo?

You want to discuss chievement? Who has made the constitution? You? Zia ul Haq? Who has made the 18th mendment? Rana Sana Ullah? Anjuman e Siapah e Sahaba? When you are snivelling bout the dangers to damo cracy, you should give credit where it is due. This is done nat by running away fram the sembly on such histaric cayun. It is done nat by Chory Nisar praising Brather Gilani, and Brather Raza Rabbani, mitting the name of the real man of the moment.

 All the credit goes to my one and only special brather, the great man with great viyun and great spoken and written inglush, which I have taught him. He is and always will be the leader and the Shriek Chairman af this paty, till the next coup or air crash.

Aik Zardari sab pey bhari


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