Extraordinary Rendition
By Hakim Hazik
On the behalf of the Government and the people of USA, I would like to extend warmest greetings to the people of Pakistan on the happy occasion of Eid. Especially to the citizens of Bajaur, who had the good fortune to spend their Eid in nicely appointed tents in neat rows. There they had all the essential facilities they normally have access to, including puerperal sepsis, neonatal tetanus and vibrio cholera.
Those citizens of the tribal area, who were not able to partake of these excellent facilities should not be despondent. Good news is at hand. The US congress has unanimously approved the release of remaining F16 aircrafts, equipped with laser guided smart bombs. These will soon be falling on their homes. Unfettered democracy has finally arrived in Pakistan and the US Government is very keen to work with the new democratic setup.
The issue of Dr Afia Siddiqi unfortunately keeps cropping up. As is now well known, she was arrested in Ghazni, in company of a highly dangerous and trained terrorist, the 12 year old Ahmed, whom she claims is her son. They had on their person, detailed maps of sensitive US installations, including McDonalds, KFC and Dunkin Donuts, drawn and coloured in by Ahmed.
She attacked a US marine three times her size, after forcefully seizing his weapon. Fortunately, he was not physically hurt, but has received counselling for psychological trauma. I would like to make it clear that she was not in the US custody before her arrest. She was in the custody of the highly professional vassal Afghan army and the private security firm the ISI, dedicated to the cause of democracy and free market.
We have no definite information of the whereabouts of her other children. Indirectly we know that they are in the custody of the US consulate in Kabul. They will soon be reunited with the hundreds of thousands of Afghan children, who have died for democracy.
Dr Siddiqi was transferred to New York, shackled in safe but humane spread eagle posture, developed after extensive research by the US army. A freshly tailored orange dress and a sack to go over the head were provided on compassionate grounds, although she does not qualify for these under the Geneva Convention.
Her son has been handed over to his shrill aunt with a headscarf. He can grow up under her care in a culturally appropriate environment.
After arriving in the US she bizarrely claims to have lost her mind. This is most unusual in prisoners so humanely treated. There is no doubt that she will be entitled to and receive due legal process under the Patriot Act. She is unlikely to receive water boarding, but a blindfold and the head sack may be left on as a subtle investigational technique.
The United States is committed to supporting democracy all over the world. But I should make it clear, that whoever challenges our right to promote democracy in the world shall be hunted down and crushed under the heal of the US power. America like Pakistan is a democracy. Democracy is the best revenge.
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