Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

I met the Met Chief bhai today in the Daag and the Bones pub, off Iscatland road, over a pint. The meeting istarted in the New Iscatland yard but continued till late. We had time to relax and warm our cackles. He is a gireat guy if you ask me. He told me the Madame Ji Theresa is quite happy to go easy and for the Met to bury the case. The next time Jaraj Gallaway Bhai gets up to ispeak in the parliyament, she will put out a saucer of milik for him to silurp fraam and ask him to leave the matters of istate to the Big Sister and to the Faran and Cammanwealth Affice.

The Met will always act with hanesty and integrity and to the highest istandards as formulated by the MI5. They will never encourage terrorism or murder, unless it is far the reasons of realpolitik or of Empire. This is a universally known fact firam Bir to Brailley and firam Leeds to Lahore. 

Madame ji Theresa May has a beautiful laundrette that can turn bhatta money fram Kiranchi into manna firam heavens in Edgware. It can pirap up the economy aaf the old Bilighty and can be used against gilobal waar aan terror. 

I know you will be asking why Mustafa Kamal has taken the firench leave. I tell you it is a canspiracy of the international bureaucracy and the remnants aaf the Firench revolution. I waant to tell the patriatic mutahidda nation and the patriatic journals of Pakistan that if he falls off Burj Khalifa, accidentally, we will be resigned to the will of Gaad and continue to serve the nation with an ispirit of self sacrifice and martyrdom that is the hallmark of our movement. We have come this far, armed with nothing but burning passion to serve the nation, and burning cigarettes, applied judiciously, to the delicate parts of the nation. 

The two who are being held by Birather Raheel Sharif, are mere pawns in the game af the international bureaucracy. It would be dead easy to put them on the pilane back to Siri Lanka where many have disappeared before them. There will naat be any mamoon jan Qadeer marching far their recovery. 

Imran Farooq bhai does not tell any tales as he sleeps easy among the midil kilass shuhada in  Yaseenabad. Those who think that Hyderabad is islipping iway, are mistaken. Hyderabad is the jugular of the Mutahidda nation and an integral part of the Commonwealth of Bhatta Nations. 

I also want to tell Shahid Hayat, that many peepil in his position have come and gaan. But the Bhatta nation is here to istay and is naat going anywhere. Peepil like Naimatullah Randhawa, Wali Khan Babar, Zahra Shahid Husain, Hakeem Saeed, and Islahuddin can come and go. Nine Zero will istay. The Faran and Cammanwealt Affice will istay. The Daag and the Bones pub will istay. 

Jiye Bilighty. Jiye Theresa May.