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The Tsunami Warning


By: Hakim Hazik

Never has the Ummah been at such cross roads. A bunch of terrorists led by the notorious Farzana Bari invaded the parliament and spoke to the Maulana with insolence in their eyes and venom in their voice. Maulana, to his credit, exhibited extreme self-control and did apply any physical reprimand which is allowed to him under our sacred law and custom.

It was only after the honour of Islam had been restored on the floor of the house that he allowed himself a guffaw which led to the tsunami warning (later withdrawn).

The Jamiat will fight tooth and nail, any amendments which pose a threat to our way of life. If the NGOs are allowed to have their way, the family as the fundamental institution of the society will be broken up. Woe betide that we live to see the day when a pious, God fearing man is denied the simple pleasure of slapping his own lawfully wedded wife, after an honest day’s hard work. The citizens of Pakistan will ensure that they beat their wives in accordance with the holy injunctions to allow them to follow the righteous path to salvation.

We cannot allow the westernised NGOs to play havoc with our traditions and customs. Their agenda is to change our society into a living hell, where a father cannot murder his own daughter for disregarding essential codes of behaviour. We cannot tolerate a system where a woman can have four children from four different partners. We want to stick to a system where a man can have virtuous progeny to carry his name from a carefully selected harem of a hundred women and slave girls with no blemish on their honour.

The NGOs are on the payroll of foreign powers which do not want to see Pakistan thriving as the bastion of Islam. They have a foreign agenda whereas we have a domestic agenda. We want the country to respect our elders and our mores and the right of our elders to have more, including more army land, more permits for locomotive fuel and more women in wedlock. This should apply to all the elders who support a beard at least the length of a closed fist, body hair not longer than the length of a millet seed and well-nourished hips, no bigger in girth than the Chaghai hills.

Maulana is not only a man of God, he is also the man of the moment. He has supped with God and the American ambassador several times, taking the basic precaution of using the long spoon with the latter. He made it clear that he believes in democracy and the right of the civilian leaders to be paid a proper price for their votes. He is not averse to this recompense being in dollars, as long as the NATO supplies are free of war materials and run on Sharia compliant diesel. His only concern is that the foreign money should not be used to curb the domestic violence. This would be a violation of our sovereignty, a shame we are not able to bear.

In the end we call upon you to praise the Lord, the sustainer of the worlds.



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